Joel Richardson

It’s a 4 tonne truck Tyrone, it’s not exactly a packet of fucking peanuts now is it?

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

@NUCLRGOLF 12, 175, 280

[Rupert Lowe MP @RupertLowe10]

Starting and running a business in Britain in 2026 - let’s go through it, step by step…

You've got a good idea. You've worked hard, saved some money, and decided to take a risk. A big decision. Let's say you want to open a coffee shop - nothing overly extravagant. Surely this is possible, right?

Available unit on a local high street, you see a gap in the market.

A simple ambition to build something. Create jobs. Generate wealth. Contribute to your local community. Maybe even build a better future for your family.

Exactly the sort of person politicians claim they admire.

Unfortunately, you've chosen the wrong country to do it in.

Britain. 2026. Labour. Bugger.

The first thing you discover is that absolutely nothing is straightforward.

You register the business. Not impossible, but hardly simple. The foreign vape shop owners manage it, so why not you? Done. In fairness, not the most challenging part of this story...

Then comes the bank account - you’d think opening a business account would be a routine matter.

Instead, you're treated like a criminal. You want to sell coffee, not arms. The banks are simply out of control in this country. Just like the lawyers, but that’s a different story.

Legitimate entrepreneurs should not be waiting weeks while faceless compliance departments shuffle paperwork between themselves and refuse to answer questions - slash it all back and let people just get on with it.

Eventually you get through that hurdle and secure the premises.

Perfect location. Lots of footfall. Not a total dump. It can work.

Then reality arrives.

The rent is eye-watering - contracts have clause after clause after clause. How can anybody understand it all?

Insurance is through the roof. And before you've served a single coffee, the local authority is already getting its grubby hands on your money. Energy costs are so very painful...

Business rates - one of the most destructive taxes in Britain. And for what? What do we get from that money?

You are effectively punished for occupying premises and creating economic activity. For PAYING TAX. It is insane. A Restore Britain Government would abolish business rates entirely for small high street businesses. Pubs, cafes, bakeries. All of it. No business rates.

Then come the inspections. Oh joy. The paperwork. The bureaucracy. The council gnomes.

Nobody objects to basic standards. Of course cafes should be clean and safe.

The problem is that too much of the system now exists to justify the existence of regulators rather than help businesses succeed. They are there to prove that their job needs to exist. So rules get put on rules, on top of more rules. It is endless.

Many of the people enforcing these rules have never built a business, never employed anybody and never risked their own money. Never done anything. Work half weeks, with 30+ days holiday a year. Fridays at home, of course.

A profession filled with nit-picking gits.

Restore Britain would conduct a full bonfire of unnecessary regulations and introduce a simple principle. Every regulation should have to justify its existence - if it doesn't prevent genuine harm, it goes. It will be glorious. We will tear it all down.

But let’s say you get through this. You stumble on. The cafe opens, and goes well. People like it. It grows. The coffee is good. You need help. Another bureaucratic nightmare.

PAYE. National Insurance. Pensions. Employment contracts. Holiday entitlement. Workplace policies. Health and safety obligations.

The worst of all - HR.

You look at it all, and just think what’s the point? Is it worth the risk? That is a disaster for our economy, and a disaster for youngsters looking for work.

Restore Britain would slash back employer National Insurance, simplify employment law for small firms and create a framework that protects good employees without treating every employer as a potential criminal.

The HR-ification of Britain will end. If I had to pick a 'profession' I hate the most, HR has to be number one.

Employers will be able to sack employees for not doing the job properly.

It doesn’t matter if they’re black, gay, Muslim or whatever else. This ‘protected characteristic’ nonsense will be stripped away. The only protected characteristic we’re interested in is competence.

We will repeal The Equality Act 2010. This is key. This is where so much of the bullshit emanates from.

But let’s say you don’t want to bother. Maybe bringing in contracting services could work. Wrong.

IR35 - one of the most economically illiterate policies ever introduced by thick idiots in the civil service who have never created a job in their lives.

Restore Britain would scrap IR35 entirely - if two consenting adults wish to enter a genuine contracting arrangement, the state should keep its nose out. Who does what, when and for who is between those two individuals. IR35 is the first thing to go. Burn it and bury it.

But we do want apprenticeships. This is the way forward, and we would give companies tax breaks for developing and building local skills for young men and women. Crucial. I’ve been running an apprenticeship campaign in Great Yarmouth - looking to link local businesses with colleges. Progress made, but lots more to do.

As your business grows, your accountant becomes indispensable. Not because your accounting is particularly complicated or he’s a good bloke, but because the tax system has become absurdly complex. I used to do my own returns. No chance now.

Restore Britain would begin simplifying the tax code from top to bottom.

Tax should be low, simple and transparent. That’s what Restore Britain stands for.

Then comes one of the most notorious barriers in British business.

The VAT threshold.

You finally start making progress, and your turnover approaches the threshold.

Looks good on the face of it, but it’s actually horrific news - cross the line and suddenly everything changes. VAT is applied. What are you supposed to do? Pass the cost on to customers? What are they going to do when the cost of their morning order shoots up? Many firms deliberately limit growth because crossing the threshold creates such a financial shock. That is insanity.

Restore Britain would double the VAT threshold.

Growth should be rewarded, and we would do exactly that.

Somehow, you’re limping on and decide an expansion is needed - maybe a covered outdoor area let’s say. Add more seating. People like to eat outside. Surely this is straightforward?

Planning. The worst people on the planet, whose sole aim is to destroy economic ambition, growth and hope. I detest them all so very much.

Restore Britain would overhaul the system with a presumption in favour of economic development. If planners cannot make a decision within a fixed timeframe, approval should be automatic. We will not keep businesses waiting for months and months. It is simply unacceptable and unfair.

Same for licences to stay open later, host music, even god forbid serve alcohol - the bureaucrat’s nightmare. We wouldn’t want people enjoying themselves, would we?

Restore Britain would introduce another presumption backing small business activity unless there is a compelling reason to refuse it. If customers want to enjoy a drink later on with their friends, let’s make it happen - the burden should be on the regulator to justify their restrictions, not on the entrepreneur to justify growth. Again, let’s give them a time frame to object. If they can’t, it goes through. Job done.

That is what Restore Britain will deliver.

Then there are card payments. Every coffee, sandwich, bottle of water. People just are not using cash. So a small slice disappears off everything, but that turns into thousands. Restore Britain would review payment processing fees and increase competition in the sector.

We must reduce the cost of doing business. This is vital.

We come to HMRC. I hate these people so much. It’s far quicker for a benefits claimant to get hold of the DWP than it is for small business owners to speak to HMRC.

How mad is that?

Restore Britain would introduce meaningful accountability when HMRC gets things wrong, or simply doesn’t pick up the phone. Let’s link senior leadership pay to response times. That will get them jumping.

When you pay the tax, and sign it all off? The anger I feel when I think about where that money goes is not a positive experience. Funding hotel fry ups for Afghan men who have broken into our country. Restore Britain would indiscriminately deport the illegals, as you know, but this is a post about starting a business…

Back to HMRC. They whack me with tax inspection after tax inspection. I wonder why…

Awful people. If I ever get a sniff of power, I will tear that place apart limb by limb.

Then comes the final insult. The salt in the wound. The knife in the back.

You want to pay yourself. You've worked sixteen-hour days, seven days a week. You've risked everything.

You've missed weekends, holidays and family events.

You have carried all the risk.

The wife or husband is constantly pissed off because the phone doesn’t stop ringing.

Now perhaps you'd like some reward. Let’s look at what’s left...

Corporation tax takes a slice. Dividend tax takes another. Student loan repayments take more. National Insurance takes more. Income tax takes more. What’s left?

By the end of it, government has its sticky fingers in your pocket at every stage.

Restore Britain would establish the lowest corporation tax rate in Europe.

We would increase dividend allowances. Slash NI. Cut back income tax. Scrap interest on student loans.

In short - reward your hard work.

Entrepreneurs all over Britain are asking this question...

Why not take a comfortable public sector job, collect the salary, enjoy the pension, work from home, avoid the stress and leave somebody else to create the wealth? Why bother? What's the point?

If enough ambitious people think that, the economy stops functioning. We become even more reliant on the fat, bloated, squid like state.

Politicians in Westminster DO NOT understand what they are doing to businesses in Britain.

I listen to them talk about business and my ears bleed - you do not understand just how thick some of these people are. However bad you imagine, double it. You’re half way there.

It is time for a different sort of politics, a different type of politician.

Restore Britain will make Britain the easiest country in Europe to start, grow and succeed with your own business.

To our cafe owner, wondering if all the endless bullshit is worth it? My message is this…

Keep going. It will get better. Britain needs you.

There is good news - there is finally a political party on your side.

Restore Britain.

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

Looks like @Tesco has secretly released a mega sandwich. I wonder where the other half is 😂

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

@Matt_Pinner

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

@meelonmuskusa 56

[Nigel Farage @Nigel_Farage]

Come on England! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

https://t.co/aYui36QNLr

[PYPER🍒 @pyperxox]

When you’re tryna sleep and she’s watching them loud ass TikTok videos

[derry mathews @derrymathews23]

I thought that was Jimmy saville

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

Imagine being Chris Eubank jr with your dad acting this fruity all the time, but you can’t say a thing because you know he’d still lay you out 😂

[عبد @ABroNextDoor]

Me pretending to be traumatised by the queens current health so I can have a week off from work

[Alex Elmslie @ImAllexx]

Prince Charles right now

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

Imagine people getting upset by this tweet like he doesn’t do it every year? It’s just a tradition at this point get in the bin ya melts

[Jeremy Clarkson @JeremyClarkson]

Don’t worry if your A level results are disappointing. I got a C and 2 Us and I’m currently holidaying on this boat.

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

Is anyone else enjoying this darker version of Star Wars or is it just me #Kenobi

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

Girls 🤝 Shitposting about men instead of getting on with life

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

Possibly my new favourite thing working for a Big company is passive aggressive email chains, knowing that the two people dislike each other but have to remain polite for the public 😂

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

Hmm… definitely something a pedophile would say

[Joel Richardson @j_richxrdson]

@D_MSTRY_ Not gym material that