jess s

[jess s @j_stalks]

TIP approach life with the same confidence as a washed up junior hockey player

[jess s @j_stalks]

To no surprise, officially recieved confirmation that my summer internship is cancelled. Here’s to planning for life in the circus.

[jess s @j_stalks]

My colleagues during quarantine: “I have been so productive”

Me: ~doing anything but school work~

[jess s @j_stalks]

So... looks like I am sleeping on the couch tonight.

[jess s @j_stalks]

University students, every weekend: “I just wanna Netflix and Chill lol.”

THE WEEKEND EVERYONE NEEDS TO STAY INSIDE: “It is my God-given right to go outside and lick whatever I want.”

[jess s @j_stalks]

London,Ont & surrounding area: I am volunteering to help deliver groceries/goods to individuals and families who are not able to go out and get things themselves.

If you or anyone you know may be in need of assistance, please send them this information. https://t.co/WeP9TpKu0B

[jess s @j_stalks]

Really wish I could be this level of unbothered right now.

[Kyle Buchanan @kylebuchanan]

Still boggled by the people I know who are going out to bars saying “we can defeat this if we’re not afraid” and I’m like “this isn’t Pennywise it’s a PANDEMIC”

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

David Ayres, the 42-year-old zamboni driver just entered his first NHL game and helped preserve the win on the 40th anniversary of the Miracle on Ice. GOAT.

[jess s @j_stalks]

Imagine being a 42yr old zamboni driver and being told you’ve gotta suit up and face shots against John Tavares and Austin Matthews lmao I’d hand in my resignation and go home

[jess s @j_stalks]

An underaged girls worst nightmare

[Andrew Kaczynski @KFILE]

caption this

[jess s @j_stalks]

Tits out having a baguette and a smoke and a pizza. Thats’s a vibe.

[jess s @j_stalks]

I thought I had out grown the game “duck duck goose”... but 13 years later and im still trying to outrun geese on uwo campus

[jess s @j_stalks]

And for anyone who didn’t get that reference, you were born after 2000 and it really shows

[jess s @j_stalks]

You know what??? The years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

[jess s @j_stalks]

I dont give many “life tips” bc idk wtf im even doing... but can definitely confirm the most important measurement when buying new appliances is your doorway

[jess s @j_stalks]

Sunny D literally tastes like someone made a bet that they could make something that tastes like orange juice without using oranges

[jess s @j_stalks]

Apple watches/ Fitbits are the exact same as tamagotchis. Only difference is that stupid lil creature youre trying to keep alive is yourself

[jess s @j_stalks]

Willy Wonka is literally the children’s version of Saw.

[morgan bates @moebreabates]

#BellLetsTalk 💙 Donating 10 cents for every like and rt to the @difdroyal foundation. Help end the stigma #WeAllSkateTogether 💜💜

[jess s @j_stalks]

Why dont hearing aid commercials have subtitles???