Jesus

Hakuna Matata.

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

Please don’t talk to me on the plane from 3 seats over. I already told you where I got my “assholes live forever” sweatshirt now stfu while I ulitilize all 14 of my southwest drink tickets that are soon to be expired

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

Apparently “Thank You” is the wrong response towards someone expressing their sincere feelings towards you

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

“I’m really good at networking, I used to get a lot of acid for free” - My 19 year old trainee day #2 on the job

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

Whoever’s Netflix account I’m using hasn’t paid their bill so what do I watch on Hulu lol

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

@Mack_deez Beggars can’t be choosers but I was hoping for more of a meet and greet in the wine aisle at Trader Joe’s.

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

Is there an app like tinder but for females seeking out other females to go on lunch dates and be friends?

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

@majcurley I miss you

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

DILFS of Trader Joe’s ❤️

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

Just met a tea cup chihuahua w/ a dick half the size of its body and I’m truly shooketh

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

With all the chaos and disaster going on in the world, it’s refreshing to see a headline about “The girl with the farting boobs” pop up in my newsfeed

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

Why the fuck has the Christmas music started playing in public places I’m not ready it’s still Halloween all hail satan

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

Help. I’ve fallen on an entire Little Caesar’s Pizza and can’t get up.

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

I only have Facebook to view the posts my grandpa shares

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

Plz stop I’m weak

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

I don’t understand or know how to contour my face with makeup but then again I also just realized I’ve had dried bbq sauce on my face for the last hour, so.....

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

How do I delete all my tweets before my boss follows me lol

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

You’re white trash and Jesus hates you.

[Jesus @jacepandaface]

WAIT UR TURN TO GET OFF THE PLANE

[Eric Clapp @ericclapp01]

Heading to my cousins baby shower and check Instagram and see they have two kegs there already. My first ever baby shower is off to a great start