Jaclyn

the shrink of the club
@witches_mag

[Jaclyn @jacgrifff]

Fuck. I gotta get worse then

[GINA NÄUMAN • جینا نعمان @entertheunseen]

There is this misconception that Love finds you when you are perfect, healed, all your ducks in a row. Truth is, Love finds you wherever you are — & it is usually at your most desolate, flawed, messy & imperfect. Love arrives to teach you that you are loveable in spite of it all.

[My Tweets Ricochet @tweetsricochet]

I raise you "hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle, oh, but it's gone again."

[len𖦹๋࣭⭑on vampire time💐 @300coffeslater]

your hologram stumbled into my apartment

[len𖦹๋࣭⭑on vampire time💐 @300coffeslater]

"ttpd is way too long"

[Jaclyn @jacgrifff]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[Taylor Swift @taylorswift13]

Talking about songwriting > Talking about anything else. Thank you @joecoscarelli and @nytmag. I had the (NY) Time of my life 😎

📷: Stefan Ruiz
🎥: Joshua Charow 

https://t.co/MRodcF5j1n

[Jaclyn @jacgrifff]

THE NEW YORK FUCKING TIMES, GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jaclyn @jacgrifff]

Can confirm, today is a wonderful day to have your Modern Love piece published!!!!!!
https://t.co/DSXTkq0dGS

[ً @americanreqiuem]

one of the best debut albums of the decade

[Christina Casillo @chrisrosecas]

I used to text 40404 in 10th grade chemistry class :/

[Benjamin Kunkel @kunktation]

Thankfully we have created these magic robots to spare you the burden of thinking, writing, making music and art—leaving you to your true passions such as dishwashing, trash disposal, and diaper-changing which we are unfortunately unable to automate at this time

[shain 📚 @shainreads]

It's so funny because if you've read any Sally Rooney book at all you know exactly why this isn't a Sally Rooney quote

[5hahem @shaTIRED]

Mamdani, with respect, never come through my phone like that ever again unless I’m about to die girl

[Jaclyn @jacgrifff]

gotta love a man who's always down to get on the train for you

[The sunny side of Franz Kafka @AmschelKavka]

How could I, fool that I am, go on sitting in my office or here at home, instead of getting onto a train with my eyes shut and opening them only when I am with you?

Franz Kafka, 1912.

[Rep. Gwen Moore @RepGwenMoore]

My office is committed to supporting adult literacy services. Please contact my office for assistance.

[Patrick Sullivan @PatchNavillus]

Oh you want the photo you JUST saved? Ha thats not in Photos—thats in Recently Saved Photos, which they all are. Itll be in Photos soon. Wheres that? Idk its after Memories and w/e PINNED is. Hey, be glad its not a video! Even we dont even know where tf THOSE are! Maybe “files”?

[maisie peters 💐 @maisiehpeters]

welcome to the world of my new album, florescence, out may 15th 😭

i couldn’t be more ready to share with you this next offering, held out like a peach in my hand 💛💐 https://t.co/LmrSRRAXOp

[The sunny side of Franz Kafka @AmschelKavka]

I absolutely belong in bed now, but I also absolutely belong with you, and that's why I'm torn between the two of you.

Franz Kafka, 1913.

[Sylvia Plath's Food Diary @whatsylviaate]

I’m always on hand for crises and meal-making. 1/4/61

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

I have some good news and some bad news.

[Jaclyn @jacgrifff]

Do people who read 50+ books a year know about movies