Jack Handey

Deep Thoughts

[McCrae @McCraeCrae]

Remember when the moving company was a thing?

[FakeYahooNews @FakeYahooNews]

Breaking: @AmandaBynes loses her shit.

[FakeYahooNews @FakeYahooNews]

Exclusive: Leaked nude photos of Manti Teo's girlfriend.

[Pretender🔶 ⛵️ @SteveJobs_BTC]

Lance Armstrong's left testicle is Manti Te'o's girlfriend.

[Pretender🔶 ⛵️ @SteveJobs_BTC]

There's an 'i' in camouflage, somewhere.

[Pretender🔶 ⛵️ @SteveJobs_BTC]

Girls spend too much time deciding what to wear like guys aren't picturing them naked the whole time.

[Pretender🔶 ⛵️ @SteveJobs_BTC]

I need to go to Walmart but I can't find my pajamas.

[Jack Handey @Jack__Handey]

What do your dreams mean?! Find out here! http://t.co/VKFT9APA - sp

[DonaId Trump @DonaIdTrumP343]

Q. How can Obama improve the economy

A. Lose the election.

[DonaId Trump @DonaIdTrumP343]

Q. What is Obama going to pretend to be for Halloween this year?

A. A President.

[DonaId Trump @DonaIdTrumP343]

I demand to see Hurricane Sandy's birth certificate.

[Jack Handey @Jack__Handey]

Check out this shit! Wow! -sp http://t.co/FhHDIfCZ

[Jack Handey @Jack__Handey]

OMG these babies are so #ugly! -sp http://t.co/CHcl5Jd3

[Google Images @Googlelmages]

Only at Walmart

[Google Images @Googlelmages]

Space Jumper....AMAZING!

[Jack Handey @Jack__Handey]

LOL! Check out the best #WiFi names ever: #sp http://t.co/jC98lip1

[Jack Handey @Jack__Handey]

Ugly Bros with Hot Hoes -sp http://t.co/GtRGCzHg

[Jack Handey @Jack__Handey]

ROFL these #HoodLicensePlates are killing me! -sp http://t.co/b4ZTGXQa

[Jack Handey @Jack__Handey]

More funny signs...WOW #sp http://t.co/NeeUPgHX

[Jack Handey @Jack__Handey]

The face of a child can say it all. Especially the mouth part of the face.