Jack Bauer

If everyone listened to my instructions, it'd be called '12'

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Goddamnit.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Really? North Korea?

C’mon coach, put me back in the game.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

I need quieter shoes.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

4 of my favorite words:

"You were right Jack."

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

My two favorite words:

"Bauer Escaped"

Also?

Ice Cream.

NOM.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Well, at least someone will get that weekend off after all.

No? Oh.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Damnit Chloe.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Just got back from 'vacationing' in Abottabad...

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

I'm on to you @WriteRCastle /cc: @NathanFillion http://t.co/SSfv5Gg

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Seriously, we are just powering through naptime aren't we?

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

I'm in the mood for a flame-broiled burger. I've been smelling the sweet smell of meat cooking for a bit. Oh look, I'm holding a blowtorch.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Felt like Cole gave in to me too easily. I was expecting to put up with one "No, you put YOUR gun down Sugar Tits" line.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Feeling like I just pulled an all nighter.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Maybe now that the show is ending I can work on joining "Dancing with Stars".

DAMNIT CHLOE WHERE ARE MY TAP SHOES?!

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Crap. I think Hastings is keeping me for 6 hours to fill out paperwork. For all the past seasons!

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Thought my day was over. Hastings says he has me for another 6 hours.

I think he's secretly working for Fox.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

Considering the amount of times CTU has been infiltrated & attacked, you'd think we would've had every base covered.

Fooled you didn't we?

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

I'm not getting cancelled. I'm going dark.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

You may complain about AT&T's crappy service.

I'm not using them and I STILL CAN'T REACH CTU.

DAMNIT.

[Jack Bauer @jackbauer]

This guy is making me seem less awesome: http://s.nyt.com/u/Ywz