Jack Cole

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

Microsoft lock screen backgrounds need to chill. Don’t show me a meadow with a stream and a mountain, that makes me want to quit my job. Show me some gruesome trench warfare to let me know how lucky I am to sit in an office with brown carpet and worry that some number looks funny

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

Why must every smoothie bowl place be Electric Dance Neon Beach branded?

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

Feeling pretty confident tonight - just rattled off all NBA champions in order since 2000 at the bar

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

@jkidcatz Kinda fucked up, this is a great tweet

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

@jkidcatz The gentleman’s viral!

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

@willcbooker A dream come true! Congrats to the Texans.

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

@willcbooker I get so excited for every scorigami and then a little sad as I realize that’s one less scorigami in the future

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

Can barely look myself in the eye if I’m a Bad Teammate

[clem @fairyfemmes]

yo piss ever be so yellow you be genuinely disappointed in yourself

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

Where were you when Phil Swift used a screen door covered in Flex Seal for the bottom of his boat?

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

@twillingham04 @UVA What happened to the dumpling cart we all knew and loved??

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

@TheStalwart I sometimes intentionally walk by Chipotle in the morning because it smells incredible

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

It’s a sign of your age if your girl (in my case my wife, the lovely @VA_Is4_Lovers) is constantly telling you which 2-4 degrees of separation person got engaged

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

My LinkedIn profile has gotten two views on the day after my wedding. Never underestimate the power that holy matrimony has on your professional brand

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

An often touted pro of Amtrak is being able to “see the beautiful country” yet every time I take it I’m rolling through the industrial swamp that is New Jersey

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

Some would call this the epitome of fatherhood

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

@stribwal @cdurbinxyz JOE

[sneezy dan @firelorddani]

just ate so much rice n beans

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

Four fingers up today to preempt my dominance of the 4th quarter of 2023

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

Imagine if you’d told the Swifties a month ago that Taylor would be dating a guy named Travis with a mustache who works in Kansas City

[Jack Cole @jackcolelantern]

Happy Hansonday to all who celebrate @ScottHanson