bananas foster

artisan tweets hand-crafted for the 'discerning' consumer

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

for a fizzy surprise use soda water

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

Uber but it’s your friend’s older brother on his bmx and you get to stand on the pegs and your parents haven’t started showing signs of aging

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

Marmite fans are always "This is going to sound weird but trust me..." and then suggest ruining a normal food by putting marmite on it

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

@Roguehan Haha, it’s not making book clubs great that’s for sure

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

Overplayed my hand at book club and enthusiastically shared my cruise-control reading technique (reading along to the audiobook) and now I fear they think I’m stupid

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

They should make a Truman show 2 where he somehow ends up back in the town and on the show again

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

They found microplastics in my soul

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

Dunstan contactless checks in to his air bnb

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

I thought Steely Dan was a nickname for Iron Man

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

Forrest Gump aping his principal’s sex sounds at him was some real alpha dog shit

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

debuting my new dance move “marving the martian”

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

They changed the egg formula, not enough yolk

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

The coolest word combination when I was a child was “silent cartographer” and now it’s “consumer electronics”

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

When he doesn’t have a reflection? Huge ick

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

I took a pill on Pandora
To show Neytiri I was cool

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

Shit so hard motherfuckers wanna wipe me

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

Lately I’ve burn on my Mr. Magoo shit (walking out into traffic)

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

When the new radicals said “I got the dreamers disease”. I felt that

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

Samosa gotta be one of the greatest triangle foods of all time

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

Elvis is the plural form of Elfis

[bananas foster @jackie_eff]

They call it a veranda because it goes verand the house