Soho Haus Jackie

Cultural Connoisseur. Social Tastemaker. Soho Haus Membership Director.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Everywhere I go people in the Palisades are talking Delta this and Delta that. So glad I fly private and don't have to deal with that airline. #nocommercials

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

And don't even get me started on how many commercials Rashida Jones stole from me. Okay off to bed took too much Fentanyl. This stuff is legit.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Walk your Talk, that's my point #TheTalk #JerryMaguire

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Oh and Jerry Maguire or O'Connell or whatever beating me for The Talk job was also HOMOPHOBIC. So there. I always forget I'm gay but I am. #PRIDE This whole thing is worse than I thought. Jerry, such a sad name. #TheTalk #TheWalk

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Jerry O'Connell beat me out for the first male co-host on THE TALK!!!! WTF this is completely racist bullshit or whatever they say these days.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Chrissy Teigen's yelling at me because I don't know who Florence Pugh is. Why does everyone need a name! Seriously. Why? #Exhausted

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Jennifer Lawrence. Paris Fashion Week. No Robin DiAngelo in sight. This is living, people. #Hautecouture #ParisAgreement P.S. who is this Florence Pugh person?

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Just escaped The David Geffen Center for White Fragility to emotionally eat at the Dairy Queen in Livingston. It's been a trying week and nobody here has a fucking Lactaid pill.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Corona whatever was inconvenient but at least I didn't have to celebrate Tory Burch's birthday. 3 hours at The Palm hearing about her f-ing Gracie wallpaper. Trying not to cuss and be nice.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

KJ (that's Kris Jenner for all you idiots out there!) saved me from the rainy ass Hamptons. Thought we'd scoot to Canyon Ranch but she sent me to another White Fragility boot camp in Montana. Was told today I'm the most fragile which made me feel special. Now I have to journal.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Went to Lily Pond Lane to visit Martha and her pool heater broke. Could East Hampton be any worse? Now we're doing s'mores because it's 10 degrees out and we need fire & fat to survive this so-called holiday.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Now Jessica Seinfeld is saying there are THREE kitchens in her house, and one needs remodeled because the marble feels "cold." Said, Hey, I'm not eating this month so this dialogue is triggering. #EastHamptonHell #53degrees #rain #LAisbetterthanNY #ShouldHaveGoneToMiraval

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Did you know Jessica Seinfeld has two kitchens in her house? 'Cuz she's told me ten times today. Isn't Memorial Day supposed to be about remembering things?

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

It is so fucking cold in the Hamptons what the fuck?! I can't be inside acting interested in Karlie Kloss' baby all day.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Lost in clouds of reverie from Ariana's big day. So special little ole' me got invited over everybody reading this.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Still processing what those entitled thin brats did to my #1 teddy bear Scott Rudin. I know fat shaming when I see it, and I have a zero tolerance policy if I'm not the one doling.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Ellen keeps calling. It's over, what does she want me to say? Those shows have been over for a decade. Oprah got the message how did Ellen not get it? The game of telephone failed her; not my fault. #JustDance but not.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Hamilton is coming back to Broadway. Yuck. If Sarah Jessica drones on about it again I'm going to smack. History was boring enough the first time.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Had another fucking nightmare about Adam Sandler in IHOP. If his Jackie won't stop him this Jackie will. God I need another Fentanyl.

[Soho Haus Jackie @jackiehyme]

Caring about the Golden Globes is hard enough in January. Now I gotta care about 'em in May? I can't care about something every month of the year. Not EVERYBODY can be TOM CRUISE!