Jackie Puppet

Jackie might be sober, but Jackie Puppet is still the angry, jealous, bitter, drunken fool you know and love.

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

FYI: @siriusjay liked a tweet within the past hour or so.
Rumors of that fat bastard's demise have been greatly exaggerated.
Also: F Jackie.

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

R.I.P. @JoeyBoots. 😢
(Tell my career I said "Hi.")

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

Colorado legalizes weeeeeeed, Denver poised to win #SB50. Coincidence? I think not. cc:@sternshow

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

On second thought, @Bronk, I think you should quit the show. They’re holding you back! You could punch up scripts! Worked out great for me!

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

Memo to @bronk - Take it from me: Sleeping is overrated.

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

Five more years of the @SternShow without ME? Ah, you all suck!

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

@dwill517 @sternshow OHhhh yeaaaAAAHHH!

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

Admit it, you sonsabitches: Hearing me on the @sternshow today made you miss me more than your favorite dead relative.

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

Since when did @stutteringjohnm, a.k.a. The World's Biggest Ballbuster, get so fucking sensitive? Must be that prick @jayleno's fault.

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

“@stutteringjohnm: yea I blocked @JackiePuppet, I'm sick of these fringe fanatical stern fans dissing me after I gave my life to that show.”

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

.@stutteringjohnm Hey, how 'bout you and me team up? We can bill ourselves as "Ex-@SternShow Dummy ... and the Jackie Puppet!" BWAHAHAHA!

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

.@stutteringjohnm U r probably right about net-worth site. No way that prick @jackiemartling is a multimillionaire! http://t.co/dSnmP9R4wg

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

.@stutteringjohnm Don't feel bad; I've been out of a job since @jackiemartling committed career suicide. "I'll punch up scripts." Asshole.

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

.@stutteringjohnm For a guy who made a career out of saying hurtful things you sure have a thin skin! Lighten up! We're old pals, remember?

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

.@stutteringjohnm Using your quasi-celebrity status to fuck some kid out of a fair price? Classy, John. http://t.co/UMZtC8V7VF @iiTzDnCd

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

@itsbullandbad @jennajameson Tell me about it. My whole life's been one big fucking tragedy since @JackieMartling committed #careersuicide

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

@itsbullandbad Aside from smoking weed? I sneak into Sirius at night and rape @Gary_Puppet.

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

.@itsbullandbad I've been unemployed for 16 years, genius. If it wasn't for weed, I'd have nothing else to do all day. #careersuicide

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

I'm still here, you sonsabitches. (Because, you know ... what the fuck else do I have to do. *WEEEEEEP*)

[Jackie Puppet @JackiePuppet]

.@bronk Rest assured that no one was confusing your whale-sized ass with a guppy.