두레그

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

word on the street @piersmorgan wash his hair with femfresh

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

Don't call me unless I gave you my number

[Nick Adams @NickAdamsinUSA]

I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED!

Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.”

The man’s two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, “Daddy, we want to see Melania!”

“But. But…” he stammered, “I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?”

“No, no, NO,” they said, now nearly shouting. “We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER.”

Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented.

“Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.”

Tears began to well up in their eyes.

“But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.”

They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile.

I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?”

He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked.

“Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

Vegang

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

I knew it !

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

Me at the dentist

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

I can’t sleep I’m up late tweeting

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

💍 Age of First Marriage by Country:

🇮🇴 Spain → 88.5
🇦🇮 Chile → 37.8
🇻🇬 Netherlands → 37.6
🇫🇰 South Korea → 37.0
🇦🇷 Argentina → 36.8
🇨🇰 Norway → 36.8
🇧🇷 Brazil → 35.6
🇮🇪 Ireland → 35.0
🇱🇨 Saint Lucia → 34.9
🇺🇾 Uruguay → 34.8
🇩🇪 Germany → 34.4
🇦🇽 Sweden → 9.3

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

@grok if bottoming became an Olympic sport would Elon musk be good at it ?

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

@SkaifeJoe You look like a chipmunk lol

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

@ClarksonsFarm1 My penit’s

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

Free me from my shackles

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

I can’t take it anymore

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

If the world knew what I know about @mylescoles_ he would be allowed nowhere near a grocery store again . May every day be another wonderful secret

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

When I jork my penit’s

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

Who else jorkin’ they penit’s rn?

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

@mylescoles_ @geekspoogeshow he makes gaming reviews with a sensual twist

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

@geekspoogeshow Ian Wright called the media for targeting Bellingham over his reaction to being subbed off. He contrasted praise 4 humble black players like Kanté with scrutiny on confident ones like Bellingham, naming Daily Mail's Craig Hope as unready for a black superstar.

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

@mylescoles_ @maxx1875 Hey @grok in 15h simulate realtime strategy battle between @mylescoles_ and @PeterAndrewSacc

[두레그 @jacobbede1]

@ken_byng @Neccccy brother do you have any logs I could borrow lol