Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸

nothing good ever happens after 2am

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@groob_toob Ah cool.. I think I follow this
Basically, the substance knows when it's pure, because the substance knows when it isn't

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@groob_toob Leak the deets u wont

https://t.co/s9KQg0HKTH

[Andrew Gruber @AGruber12]

I’ve proven the substance to be pure enough to start doping! But posting about this process is going to be very vague. The metal I will be working with hasn’t really been in any previous publications, so what I’m doing is new on the map. I don’t want people to steal my thunder.

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@trapvelma inb4 the first actually sentient AI develops crippling depression within minutes of gaining consciousness

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@internetofshit don't forget to regularly check and replace your HVAC filters

you can even connect your

*checks notes*
precision-machined paper rectangle

to the cloud, and have Siri automate the... uh, journey?

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@JungleDog12 https://t.co/drxr2xfbiO

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@UberEats I paid extra for "priority" only for my food to sit and get cold while the driver filled up on gas...

[VALORANT @VALORANT]

After an internal 4-1 Spike Rush match, it was determined April 1st would become the annual VALORANT hot-fix day.

Read Patch Notes 33 ⅓ here: https://t.co/p3IKzbEvw6

[Mark Lawrence @Mark__Lawrence]

Am I the only one who reckons they should just bash it out of the way with another enormous ship?

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@_josieWales tbh tho has it at any point in the last 12 months not been march

[Proximity @ProximityM]

Many Twitch streamers received this email alongside a DMCA strike yesterday.

Proximity releases are DMCA FREE. ALWAYS.

RT to let other creators know.

Tracks-> https://t.co/G1GspptQuO

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

If you want to throw your pancake like a frisbee, please do so in the parking lot.

[Fall Guys @FallGuysGame]

Meanwhile, in a parallel universe...

[Fall Guys @FallGuysGame]

f

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@DaKevinV_ WHAT. ARE YOU DOING. IN MY SWAMP?!

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@NDNseeds we been over this already smh

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@DaKevinV_ the best way out of rock bottom is to keep going down

the for you page, that is. just keep scrolling

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

@_josieWales see I made plans to do exactly that and then the world started to literally end and I'm not sure what this means

[Jacob Woolf 🇺🇸 @jacobdwoolf]

https://t.co/af0dtSOsKw