Jake (sometimes)

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

Need my kneecaps deleted

[mad tsai @MadTsai]

i think about this tweet all the time

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

He is dead

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

Traveling to Kentucky tomorrow to confirm Mitch McConnell’s health

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

@_____ebag The company will collapse

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

Can someone check in on Paddington?

[onion person @CantEverDie]

why is JD vance literally doing this bit

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

Service members will now receive gender affirming care. Very progressive of you Pete

[Secretary of War Pete Hegseth @SecWar]

The High-T Department of War.

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

People really flexing they don’t eat fruits and vegetables as a full grown adult. “ oh I’m picky and don’t like the taste “ grow the fuck up. Learn to cook and/or prep foods the way you like them

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

Hey guys you like our dog shit game that we put zero effort into ? Here are two announcers that are also dog shit!

[Mike Straw 🔜 Gamescom @MikeStrawMedia]

John Buccigross and Darren Pang are the new broadcast team in NHL 27.

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

“…ruled the officer’s actions were legally justified due to the imminent threat to the hostages. “ He killed one of the hostages in his bullheaded attempt to “save” them

[The Facts Dude 🤙🏽 @Thefactsdude]

TRAGIC: Officer cleared after fatally shooting 3-year-old during Illinois hostage standoff

A Princeton Police Department sergeant has been cleared of criminal charges after accidentally fatally shooting a 3-year-old Damian Camacho during a hostage situation in Bureau County.

Officers responded to a domestic disturbance and found 42-year-old Anthony Rodriguez barricaded inside a room armed with a knife while holding women and children hostage.

After hearing screaming from inside, police forced entry and opened fire. One of the shots fatally struck the child.

A special prosecutor reviewed the body camera footage and ruled the officer’s actions were legally justified due to the imminent threat to the hostages.

Rodriguez survived and is facing multiple charges.

All graphic material has been edited out.

[Will 🦥 Menaker @willmenaker]

Hopefully there's no CGI bullshit and they imprison and torture another real whale for this one

[David Grossman @davidgross_man]

*conservative trying to think of a nightmare scenario* what, you want the government to fund after-school programs?

[Diante Lee @DianteLeeFB]

This is a crisis in our country’s handling of child enrichment overall, not just the development of professional athletes.

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

Whoever drew the property lines for my neighborhood in the 80s was a fucking idiot

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

Imagine hearing your preacher says this about his kids and being like “ yep I’m in the right place , cannot wait to come to come back next week”

[Protestia @Protestia]

In a WILD sermon, NIFB Pastor Steven Anderson says he’s so psychologically damaged by his four "sniveling brats" and "evil pieces of trash" children publicly accusing him of child abuse, that he prays they either publicly recant so he can get his good name back, or, as an alternative, that God destroys and "spectacularly punishes" them because otherwise he's going to quit preaching.

This is long, but you get a good picture of where he's at, and it's not in a good place.

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

I knew Freddie’s time in Carolina was over but still sucks to see him go after that postseason run .

[Kevin Weekes @KevinWeekes]

**Breaking News ** 🚨 📰
Per sources, I’m told Stanley Cup Champ G Andersen agreed to a 1 Yr Contract with the @EdmontonOilers . #HockeyX

[Zaid Jilani @ZaidJilani]

This you Jim?

[Jake (sometimes) @JacobotheDon]

“I tried to quit on my team because my coach called me a quitter but I didn’t get my way so I’m back Columbus” Take this dumb fucks letter off his chest

[B/R Open Ice @BR_OpenIce]

Zach Werenski has released a statement saying he is committed to Columbus and wants to stay with the Blue Jackets

I guess that ends the Werenski-sweepstakes 👀

[JWBS @JustWanaBS]

Tripp next season

“You know who I found out this summer is a huge Caniac Mike?
The big man!
God!”