Jacobs Mind

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Been sat on stools so long it feels like I've just come out of a gay orgy #relatable #lifegoals #dreambig

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Zoella & joe weller should get married so she'd be zoella weller #MondayMotivation #ShakespeareLives #standupforeurope

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Wet lettuce

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Leg bouncers aggravate me 😡😡

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Hate it when people have the conversational skills of a wet lettuce #lolz

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

This is almost as awkward as when my grandma educated me in the ways of porn #awks #cheekynandos

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Don't slam the door into my face! You look like Jabba the Hutts wife! #rude #bitch

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Bryony looks fit today

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Grammar is important, commas, full stops and semis... #grammar

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

@IlaMcvarish u wot m8

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

My lever arch folder is bigger than a Congo mans penis, no one wants that #toobig #ithurts

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Knock knock
Who's there?
IM GOING TO STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT YOU WHORE #IHATEYOU #USED #ARMPITS

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

You're not a curvy girl, you look like Jabba the hutts wife, there's a difference #obesepeople #fat #jabbathehutt

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Furiously licks the air where I burped in an attempt to taste it #yummy

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Give 2 control variables of my tits and lick them #misheard

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Mini fork off #iwillstabyou #banter #fork

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

Lucy: how are you not laughing. Me: because ive got a hard on. #misinterpreted #oops

[Jacobs Mind @jacobs_mind]

*Russian accent* what more could you want in life than a fart squirrel *realise that it was more of a gay USA accent*