I had initially advocated for Ben White's departure,but upon further contemplation,I have arrived at a radically different conclusion: Ben White's contract should be coterminous with Mikel Arteta's tenure.
White isn't merely a footballer; he's a grandmaster of footballing skullduggery,a virtuoso of the dark arts,and an indispensable provocateur. At a time when football is increasingly inundated with sterile idealism,he remains a steadfast custodian of glorious shithousery.
More importantly,these alleged " dark arts" have culminated in a league title after 22 years of waiting and have reduced our haters into a state of perpetual lamentation. For that reason alone,I'm inclined to advocate for an escalation rather an a cessation.
Next season, Arsenal should not merely employ the dark arts; we should institutionalize them. We should marinate games in gamesmanship,garnish them with calculated mischief,and season them with a level of psychological warfare that leaves rivals in a condition of existential despondency.
Our victories should be ignominious, exasperating,deeply humiliating,and utterly soul-crushing to those who harbour animosity toward the club . Every last-minute winner should feel like a personal affront. Every cleansheet should resemble an act of bureaucratic cruelty.
The incessant demand that football exist primarily as a vehicle of neutral entertainment is a proposition I reject entirely. Supporters of other teams are free to seek aesthetic fulfilment at their own clubs.
Arsenal isn't obligated to to entertain y'all, it's to accumulate trophies while simultaneously accelerating pain and collective psychological deterioration our rivals.
Your anguish is merely an incidental dividend.
Not surprised that people are immediately trying to write revisionist history about the game today. Thatโs what idiots do
-Arsenal scored from open play. PSG could not
-PSG needed a penalty, conceded by Arsenalโs 3rd string RB, to score at all
-Outside of that penalty, PSG did not record a shot on target inside the box until the 117th minute
-PSG needed a penalty shootout to win the game
Casual fans will look at the possession and the shots, without understanding that Arsenal allowed PSG to have the ball and shoot it from non-threatening areas on purpose
At the end of the day, PSG deserved to win, because they stepped up when it mattered
But anybody suggesting that Arsenal didnโt play well, or didnโt execute their plan to perfection, is either lying to you for interactions, or they are genuinely incapable of analyzing the game that they just watched
It really is that simple, at the end of the day
Heartbreaking result for Arsenal, controversies aside, theyโve been one of the best teams in Europe. Took PSG all the way to penalties in their first UCL final in 20 years and still won the league. They can all still be proud. ๐๐พ
Unbeaten in the Champions League until the final.
A Champions League Final.
A Premier League title.
Tonight hurts because this team made us believe they could do something truly historic.
But donโt let one result make you forget how incredible this season was.
Dear Gen X,
Iโve been watching 80s movies and I just need to knowโฆWHERE WERE YOUR PARENTS??
Every child was just wandering the earth unsupervised like a raccoon with house keys. Riding bikes across town at midnight, fighting ghosts, investigating murders, befriending cryptids, hacking government computers for funsiesโฆ
And the parents were ALWAYS โout of townโ or โworking lateโ while the only adult-adjacent supervision was some random 16-year-old who got dragged into the chaos.
No cell phones. No helmets. No adult supervision. Just vibes, life lessons, and several near-death experiences.
You all werenโt โraised.โ You were lightly monitored feral creatures with a bike and unresolved trauma.
Iโm genuinely shocked there are enough of you left to populate an entire generation.
Things will change next season.
No more checking EPL table.
No more live score notification on.
Win or lose it won't spoil my day or mood.
Oh lastly, yes the dragging will continue until the end of the season.
Whose with me? ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ