I think when you’re transitioning from being a people pleaser to someone with more boundaries it’s so weird, because it’s hard to tell if you’re being mean or if you’re just listening to your own feelings because you’re so used to this & only thinking about others
The older you get, the more you see someone's lack of effort as their lack of interest in you, someone's lack of interaction as their lack of resonance with you, and someone's lack of response as your lack of importance to them regardless of what they tell you.