Jonluke Affeltranger

Driver.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

Every time I see Chase Car Inc.'s Matte Black Panamera Turbo Scorpion Armed camera car, I get a woody...

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

IT'S CALLED THE PASSING LANE FOR A DAMN REASON. MOVE THE FK OVER. There is no order on American roads...

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

I can analogize better than both Jeremy Clarkson AND the Stig.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

If you call a Christmas Tree a "unity tree," -piss off.. right now..

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

They're like fat jokes... They just never work out.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

Wearing Robert Graham and spitting on the street today.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

The smell of fuel in the morning...

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

It's like holding shift while the caps lock is already on. You did twice the work and essentially got nowhere

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

@AffeltrangerG oh wow, I didn't know you are married.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

I guess nobody heard me when I said I made a twitter

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

Please visit my profile for complimentary refreshments.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

Can't stand front-wheel-drive.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

I'm funnier than @WicketyWack55

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

I'm capsizing the world of conformity.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

If you can fart louder than a Van Halen concert, I'm less likely to be attracted to you.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

I'm profoundly uneducated.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

-Update: I like yelling in a Scottish accent like a disgruntled Fat Bastard.

[Jonluke Affeltranger @jaffeltranger]

"She's a 'huge' sports fan." -I can see that. I'm sure the players tasted great...