Jacob

fueled by spite and sushi

[Jacob @JakeDostal13]

give me elf ears or give me death

[Jacob @JakeDostal13]

@GBabinat

[Redda @fragoles]

ok ok just had a talk with my bf where I was like "sometimes I get so excited while reading my eyes.. skip over entire paragraphs? n then I have to like force myself to stop reading and go back to read the parts I missed" n he was like "NO ONE DOES THAT" pls tell me I'm not alone

[²blak @Willie2blak]

If a doctor uses the wrong tool and kills a patient what are the chances they keep their job? If a pilot opens the cabin door midflight instead of turning on the seat belt sign do they keep their job? But a cop can "mistakenly" grab their gun instead of a taser and keep theirs?

[Anarchists for heirarchy. @AlsoABagel]

@chitribopinions

[nard @avantnard]

zack fox has never missed.

[KK @guinep_paltrow]

how do you ban healthcare for any human

[izzie @bellyjizz666]

i know it’s just peach fuzz on my belly but ripping it off with a wax strip is so tempting

[ronnie @weevis420]

Direct deposit: $1400
Me at Earl may: bring me Earl

[Colyn @colynelliott]

one year into the pandemic we thought was going to last two weeks

[Jacob @JakeDostal13]

@gillionnn

[zoe ⭑ @scenedoII]

it’s always “wyd” and never “oliglggas”

[slowciopath @sam_wolfson]

sorry boss I accidentally looked at myself in the mirror. can we touch base tomorrow instead?

[izzie @bellyjizz666]

the trojan way😌

[ronnie @weevis420]

I want to go underwater and breathe in, moisturize my lungs 🫁