Jake the Fat Dragon

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@MischievousCur I like that you like me

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@lordvictor I never leave home without my personal hydrogen bomb (it fits in a backpack)

Go ahead punkass bitches, try and mug me

See who’s laughing when i nuke us

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@grabsart Thats one bad bitch

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@Brouxir I follow your account because if I search the word “farts” I don’t know if I’ll get asshole political commentary or a description of what you do in a typical day

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@uncledoomer Honey where should we go on vacation this year?

Definitely the hiking trail by the active volcano.

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@flakferret This is so cute that I would definitely go on a second date

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@SterlingBelikov I know you’re straight but i’m here for the exposed male bellies

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

yeah well she could be a lot fatter if you ask me

[Dissident Wire @DissidentWire]

The average American woman is 5’3” and weighs 171 pounds in 2026.

Follow: @DissidentWire

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@Wulden83 Wulden: “how big would I have to fart to inflate the hindenburg?”

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@APurpleWusky Any man with a healthy body weight and waist size will be skinner than the average American woman

You may belch and fart a lot more than her, but she’ll be fatter

Actually on second thought she may also belch and fart more than you too

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@lordvictor We need some wacky screen texts from classic 1960s Batman

*cops run at shooter*

ZOOF!

*shooter opens fire*

BLAMMO!

*cops kill civilian*

YEEK!

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@Pumpandplump

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

The White House has announced that my new sona has presidential approval

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@MischievousCur hi doctor i have a pain in my leg i have ruled out syphilis it must be cancer

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@Merzwoke all three of them have killed people

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@OPuptimburr

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@MischievousCur Can you tie me to the bed too and force me to cut calories till I lose weight 🥴

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@MischievousCur What dad things are you going to do to me?

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@EjBeta nice

i had two warts on one of my hands so first the doctor tried to freeze them off with liquid nitrogen. that killed one of them

the other wart was so stubborn that i had to go back to the doctor to have it cut out

i clenched my jaw so hard that i almost felt my teeth crack

[Jake the Fat Dragon @jakerockfield]

@BigBrownBuck Oink oink