Jakob Crowder

I laugh. A lot. I settle all disputes in a thumb war.

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

@SleeperHQ I have 100+ alerts for Jake Ferguson's status changing from Healthy to Questionable. It's constantly blowing up my phone.

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

@netflix gaslighting and leading me on all week for #LoveIsBlindLIVE

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

Clearly everybody still waiting on #LoveIsBlindLIVE has never been stood up before and it shows

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

Me when I make a 2nd bowl of popcorn waiting on #LoveIsBlindLIVE

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

#LoveIsBlindLIVE showing up like Jackie to her dress fitting

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

If you do your best Zack impersonation and don't blink while watching the #LoveIsBlindLIVE loading screen it'll eventually let you in

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

Turns out #LoveIsBlindLIVE is as fake as Micah's friend...

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

LSU vs Clemson was my first ever college football game. 1996 Peach Bowl

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

At least the Cardinals missed the PAT...

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

I reorganize the pepperoni on a frozen pizza.

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

Does this make 21 Savage an illegal ATLien?

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

If you pull your tiny car all the way forward in a parking spot, I hate you. It breeds false hope.

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

People who hate self-checkout lines have never had to buy garbage bags, duct tape, bleach, Ramen Noodles, and light bulbs at the same time.

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

I know it's an unpopular opinion... but boneless wings are just chicken nuggets.

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

EmBAMArrassing...

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

I'm happy for ATL UTD and all, but let's be honest... Bama could beat them...

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

I'm still in line to vote.

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

Only Bama could hold out the entire season and the first half of the National Championship Game to roll out their secret weapon.

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

Only #bama could hide a secret weapon all season until the second half of the #NationalChampionship game. #UGAvsBAMA

[Jakob Crowder @jakobcrowder]

This is very similar to the 2012 BCS National Championship Game. Bama gets in without playing in the SEC... https://t.co/0vOZNCcZHl