James Corrao

Accounting Clerk by day, benevolent cat dictator by night. Currently reinventing myself as a minimalist.

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@scotchua Indeed!

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

Why does remembering I packed #cheese in my lunch spark joy?

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

Watching #Sprung on #freevee reminds me of watching cable TV. Unskippable commercials! #nothanks #notreallyfree #notworthit

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@scotchua Don’t tell me how to live my life

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@bluetidepro keep up the good work, shrugdude! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@DrAlGrossAK your handwritten postcards from “volunteers” might be more meaningful if they actually came from #Alaska. #Vote2020

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

Dear Beloved Coworker, please stop drinking the Kool-Aid! You’ve had more than enough! You’ve had so much now that it’s clouding your mind and making you unbearable. Thank you.

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@scotchua *clutches pearls and falls back onto the fainting couch*

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

I am 1000 times less likely to buy products advertised through unskippable YouTube ads. Looking at you @Febreze_Fresh

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@McTaggartAttack It’s probably more about inclusion than anything, but if you were deaf, wouldn’t you want up to the minute coverage on the zombie apocalypse?

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@littlebit_nc 👽

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

Someone liked 51 of my tweets! Either I have a new stalker or the twitter-bots are working overtime. #WinWin #MrPopularity #IForOneWelcomeOurNewRobotOverlords

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@scotchua The human factor is almost always the weakest link.

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@DonYoungAK Your flippant remarks about #Covid_19 were foolish and potentially dangerous. I thought you stood up for #Alaskans?

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@Spotify please fix your iOS app. It suuuuucks so hard right now! Kthnx

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

*random noise outside*
My coworkers: “What IS that?! I must investigate! And complain about whatever I learn. Loudly!”
Me: 👀🙄😤😑

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@taskmaster I’m hooked on #taskmaster! When will you release the rest of series 4 on YouTube?!

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

I’ve called this #SocialMediaSummit to discuss a grave issue that’s been ignored by mainstream media for far too long. When did the jokes on #LaffyTaffy stop being funny?

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@scotchua If you’d just buy that private jet you’ve been eyeing, you wouldn’t have to deal with obnoxious peasants anymore.

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

@scotchua Or a nice roofie

[James Corrao @jamescorrao]

Nothing like a thorough groping to start the day off right. #TSAtouchedme #atleastbuymebreakfastfirst