James Wash

Lord in Heaven, I am tired.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Remember: if you're ever in a rap battle in a restaurant, take off your shirt and shoes. That way, you can't get served.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Point: I should go to the gym

Counterpoint: just had two 14 hour days

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

One of my favorite history facts I learned just now is that one of the most significant cavalry raids in the US Civil War was led by a man who was terrified of horses.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

If you see me and I look a little rough, that's why.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Didn't shower yesterday, was planning to shower today after going to the gym.

So, I just got a text that my apartment building has turned off the water everywhere.

[the moon’s wife @bookishseawitch]

the appalachian mountains are older than saturn’s rings. the appalachian mountains are older than dinosaurs. the appalachian mountains are older than trees. the appalachian mountains are literally older than BONES. the appalachian mountains should be regarded with pure terror.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Finally watched the Little Mermaid trailer.

I think it's funny that people think her being black will ruin the movie, when
a) it won't
b) there's like 7 other things in the trailer that will

Can we please send a SWAT team to rescue the sweatshop CGI laborers Disney has? Please

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

I feel like one of Temple of Doom's lesser flaws is that Spielberg
a) married the shrillest person he could find, and
b) cast her in a role where her only characterization is constant screaming

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Watching a video on Epcot and I guess it just never occurred to me that people just build towns, they just get land and some other people and decide to make a town there.

In other news, if you would like to attempt constructing a Utopia, join me at...

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Family went to the mall earlier, went inside a Christian bookstore.

There's a brutal irony about a money clip that reads "I am the Light of the World"

[Norm of the North @NormOfNorth]

norm has just finished reading the communist manifesto

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

The security footage has got to look like the hallway fight from Oldboy

[SAY CHEESE! 👄🧀 @SaycheeseDGTL]

A hour long 60-person brawl broke out on a Cruise after one person’s significant other found out about an alleged threesome… the brawl spread to 5 different floors & didn’t stop until the U.S. Coast Guards arrived.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Twitter worries me because in my mind this is clearly a hyperbolic joke, but I have no idea if anyone else takes it that way.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

I don't object to fireworks on the 4th of July.

But if I hear you setting off fireworks on July 3rd I think I should be allowed to gun you down in the street without legal consequence.

[Ellis Pemrick @ellis_pemrick20]

JOEY CHESTNUT FLU GAME THIS YEAR

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Enough bad news, time for good news: some primatologists now believe that some monkeys may prove capable of being taught, and engaging in, human speech.

Well, I think it's good news. I guess that's subjective.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Further: for the love of God, Donnie Yen, do you need money? I'll give you money, you don't need to do this to yourself, you can at least have your dignity.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

The irony of the live action Mulan is that by turning Mulan from a normal person into a souped-up wuxia hero, they make the fights and the story less meaningful. It's not a "anyone has the power to be a hero, sexism be damned" story, it's a "sure is nice to be born special" story

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

Also, the twenty minute scene of Mulan talking about the political necessity of imprisoning two million Uyghurs felt a little gratuitous on the director's part.

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

I made a little puzzle game based on a theorem I learned earlier this year at grad school.

https://t.co/jPHAWCfnOE

[James Wash @jamescwash2]

My brother in Christ, you made the sandwich

https://t.co/jllIRoboj0