James Clarence 🍂🐕

Poet, historian, future subject of the dumbest Chefs Table episode ever @notjamesmadison on insta (find my baking at @jcookbakes on insta as well!)

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Would seriously consider killing a man for a Nordic Wear Bundt pan

[anna !!! :)) 🇵🇸🌸✨🌸🇵🇸 @frogs4girls]

*door in my house opens on its own*

me: fascinating. there must be quite a temperature differential between these two rooms to create that kind of pressure

the ghost haunting me: (slamming its head through the wall) i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Every time I try to write creative nonfiction, it becomes painfully obvious that I am, in fact, A Poet

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Perks of working in an open kitchen: clocking a customer as an asshole and then going into the bathroom immediately after them to find they left the seat up

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

[the penultimate scene of Stepford wives playing]
Bestie: it's just like Salome

[kas @VHSdogs]

🗡️🗡️🗡️

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Love all my trans femme friends but have been recently having my world rocked by how good it is to have a trans guy to talk to about Trans Guy Stuff

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Sucks that my emotional capacity broke and resulted in a crying sesh at the scene in Aquaman where his dad dies
Feels anticlimactic

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Watching Hamilton with my current political alignments is interesting because obviously the pro-colonial narrative is against everything I believe in but somehow. Still. Fuck southern democrats.

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

One of my favorite things about the Brits is how many laws they have against fucking in public because they Just Cannot Stop

[Abby Barr @1AbbyRoad]

he invented rizz

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

"Getting a dog was the best and worst decision of my adult life" I think to myself as I trip over a dog toy on my way to the bathroom at 1am

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Things my boyfriend says after a few puffs of weed: I feel like lesbians are into Borat

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

The one thing I regret about never bearing children is I'll never be able to tell a doctor to fuck off and that I'm squatting upright like the human body is intended to give birth and not laying on my back for their convenience

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

@AnodyneRhyme Spent my Monday/Tuesday weekend thinkin hard about this

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Thinking about starting to respond to emails that annoy me with "yeah, whatever" and nothing else

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

The thing about being in the service industry is I'm already counting the days until the university students leave for winter break

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Deeply identify with the shitfaced dude walking up king st at 1:15am belting "say it ain't so" at the top of his lungs

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Just caught myself thinking "but do we really need to eat? Like has anyone tried just not?"
Yes bitch!! You!! And you weighed 125lbs soaking wet and were tired and miserable all the time!!!!

[James Clarence 🍂🐕 @jamesnotmadison]

Fascinating how much current horror is based around poverty and people forced into nightmarish conditions in order to survive
Wonder what that could be about