Jimmy Rodgers

You say Tomato, I say Bloody Mary! IG: @jamespaull

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

The “kitchen” area of The Comedy Store is where I’ve had some of the BEST Laughs of my life !

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

People my age : “I want a Family”

Me: “I want Taco Bell “

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

I just want to be a divorced stay at home mom with no kids

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

A comic jokingly asked me tonight “ do you know where you were the day princess diana died ?” I quickly said “yes, I was 8 years old , at my family’s shore house in Avalon, New Jersey , it was the day after my mom’s birthday “ he walked away … sorry you were bit fishing 😘

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

I just tried smoking my AirPods . Let me knock it off with this Vaping nonsense anymore

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

I Met a dude last night who told me his sweater was cashmere , called his ass cashmere shirt for the remainder of the night . Come onnnn cashmere !

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

I’m really annoyed that I spent $20 to rent & watch a movie about a grown man willing to fuck over Everyone so he could play ping pong

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

I’m so late to the game and I don’twatch football but I just watched the @TomBrady roast! tom has such an amazing sense of humor and I am such a fan of him now as a human! ! He’s so handsome & charming ….. ok I’m in love with tom Brady the fuck !

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

If you’re not saying “paparazzi” like @JenniferTilly does, I don’t trust you

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

Are Ya’ll still paying $15 a month for your instagram blue verified check mark in 2026 ?

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

I just said “awwww” watching a live chicken on shark tank, mean while I just door dashed a chicken sandwich. Yo, I’m a real fuckin monster !

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

I have absolutely zero invention ideas but I am so obsessed with @LoriGreiner so much ! Lori , I’d love 500k to live my fuckin life sis . Shark , what you got me for me ?

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

I hate when people say “you can sleep when you’re dead” the fuck you mean ? Im taking this nap right now, Know that !

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

People still out here in their Halloween costumes . Girl, it’s Christmas time hoe!

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

Grown Ass Adult “swifties” make me sick

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

ASMR is wild . I just watched a lady eat chicken wings for 45 minutes

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

Now How in the hell do people be getting sentenced to 250 years in prison ? Like ok tuck everlasting .

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

From now on in, anytime someone asks me a stupid question I am simply replying with “they’re Wigs”

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

An Actual Conversation with with my friend & I having dinner in West Hollywood:

Me: do you wanna go to tenants of the tree in silver lake to meet up with those boys ?

Melina: silverlake? That’s insane ! That’s so far and just no !

Me: it’s 2.5 miles away

[Jimmy Rodgers @jamespaull]

Why do people wanna tell you that you look like a celebrity that’s not flattering that you don’t look like and smile about it like it was the compliment of your life ? Girl, you look like a Septic Tank shut up !