Standing Ovulation

Disclaimer: tweets are my own views, and usually bad jokes. RTs might just be provoking thoughts/reads and are not endorsements. Mostly Harmless, deleted often.

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

I have relatives in Michigan who own 3 assault rifles “just in case” but won’t do anything to stave off heart disease:

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

My Virus, called Trump, just wiped out the world in 434 days! #PlagueInc

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

Immaculate inning from Andrew Kittredge!

[Dr. Robert Rohde @RARohde]

So DOGE-related cuts and early retirements eliminated 550 staff at the National Weather Service, and now the NWS is being granted special permission to hire 450 positions to relieve critical shortages.

Such a waste of time and resources.

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

@schurov @JesseRogersESPN Immaculate.

[Jesse Rogers @JesseRogersESPN]

Cubs reliever Andrew Kittredge compiles an immaculate inning here in the seventh. All swinging.

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

🚨🚨IMMACULATE INNING🚨🚨 @Cubs

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

Translation: “I’m stealing Threads’ idea for hashtags.”

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Starting tomorrow, the esthetic nightmare that is hashtags will be banned from ads on 𝕏

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

Hi @J_J_Kennedy…simply want to say I just finished Pathogenesis and I think it was marvelous. Thank you!

[Rick Perlstein @rickperlstein]

What investigative reporter is going undercover with ICE goon squads? This is, like, THE story right now. Who trains? What rules of engagement? What propaganda do they consume? How do they recruit, and weed out non-sadists? Would they follow orders to shoot regime enemies?

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

Dear future historians (if you are even there): if you are looking for a name for this era in American life, I would suggest “Constitutional Malaise.” A time in which the average American either doesn’t know or care what’s in the actual founding document…only what they want.

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

Soooooooo, is Alcatraz reopening or what?

[Archetype @memoryandtruth]

Everything seems far worse than it is.

Thanks to infinite and immediate localized information availability and the way our brains are wired.

The human mind is drawn to crisis. There is always “crisis” somewhere, and today, you can read about it into infinity.

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

Oh Rafael…he got you gooooooood

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

Congrats to @elonmusk for detoxing for a few weeks in some lavish mountain cabin so you can pass a drug test and get right back to abusing drugs!

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

Guys, I’m gonna be honest…12 years ago I was visited by me from the future who went back in time to warn me about everything that was going to happen…he showed me the Carlson-Cruz video, and it was too funny to not let happen.
Anyway, nuclear war starts in 10 days.

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

@UberEats is going to start making a higher acceptance rate a qualifier for drivers, but I’m guessing isn’t going to fix the algorithm that sends me the same $4, 20-mile Home Depot delivery that I already turned down 7 more times…

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

Remember when people were saying “if they can indict Trump [for actual crimes], imagine what they could do to you!?”…that crowd is weirdly silent when it comes to unidentified jack-booted thugs actually detaining elected officials for doing nothing.

[Morgan Cameron Ross @Morgan_C_Ross]

81 years ago today on June 6, 1944, James M. Doohan of Vancouver(and later Sarnia) was shot 6 times on Juno beach while fighting for Canada on D-Day. He would later go on to become Scotty on Star Trek.

[Standing Ovulation @jamestimmer]

Hahahahahahahahaha…keep voting Republican, my dude! Surely they will solve this problem. 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Wall Street Apes @WallStreetApes]

How is this legal

- American finances a truck that cost $111,916
- He’s made 84 payments of $1,898.39
- The amount he will pay for the truck after all payments are made is $159,464

I don’t care what anyone says this is usery and the bankers doing this should be locked up