john f. pennedy

Born on a Mountaintop. 🇮🇪🏉 (I’m the guy)

[john f. pennedy @JamesTr0ut]

My lack of student loan debt.

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

What’s something from the 2000s that desperately needs a comeback? 💭

[Jeremiah Smith @JJwiththeshifts]

U step outside in Chicago and automatically spend a crisp $17.89

[𑣲⋆ @xolyviaxo]

If you litter you are a nasty dirty stinky funky ass bitch

[i think @kutaiuranium]

tgi friday’s waitress got my order wrong so i flashed my gun at her

[tk @tkisrage]

So Tobey Maguire is the only Spider-Man that organically makes webs, the others need web shooters, but that doesn’t really make sense lol, why can they not make webs?? So basically you can run on walls and have fast instincts but no webs lmaoo nigga you are cockroach man

[roro, PhD @fuglibetty]

The cyclist is a disarming evil; he possesses all the arrogance of the driver with all the victim complex of a pedestrian

[emotional swaggage @bigdogsdieyoung]

The Odyssey is gonna blow my mind when i watch it on tubi in 6 years

[josh @joshypooper]

first 3 questions i ask when i go to a girls house for the first time

-is it ok if i smoke in here
-where’s your medicine cabinet
-hold on what’s your name again

[HowlingAnderz @HowlingAnderzin]

Old black man standing behind me at the gas station let out a sigh and said "these folks need to hurry up, I gotta go get my peter sucked on." I let him go ahead of me.

[erin chack @ErinChack]

One time I made eye contact with a homeless guy so I said “Hey how’s it going” and he said “Not too good im homeless.”

[Cranky Federalist @CrankyFed]

Your pub's flag isn't on the moon

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

driving barefoot feels like when they connect their hair to the dragon in avatar

[ali @probablyalissa]

Omw to make it eight

[rowan @calicosmall]

It's saying my dasher hasn't been born yet

[cabby @cabby]

Yeah dude yell and scream at me thats going to make your kid get up faster after getting hit by my car

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

The opening of The Prince of Egypt (1998) just grabs you. “Deliver Us” comes in heavy, the visuals don’t flinch, and within minutes the scale feels enormous. By the time the basket hits the river, the movie already has you.

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

bring back real addictions like cocaine wym you addicted to porn and doordash

[Creepy.org @creepydotorg]

In 2014, a 15-year-old Pakistani schoolboy named Aitzaz Hasan noticed a stranger wearing a suicide vest entering his school.

Despite being urged by his friends to run away, Aitzaz decided to confront the bomber.

He grabbed the terrorist, and that's when the explosive vest detonated. Killing Aitzaz instantly.

His actions prevented the terrorist from entering the school and killing hundreds of students.

Following his death, his father said, "My son made his mother cry but saved hundreds of mothers from crying for their children."

[danlet @evildanevil]

Check engine light randomly shut off after a year. i can only assume it sorted itself out

[𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐾 @misskerrington]

instagram be finding ppl you just seen at the red light