Jamie Ende

the only pain is champagne 🥂

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

Hot take: not a swifty

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

@Baileyanqui Suns out tums out 😎

[Hannah Berner @beingbernz]

A lot of people don’t know this but you can do a peloton and not tell anyone.

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

So lazy that instead of putting a clean shirt back in the drawer I put it in the dirty laundry basket

[Stassi Schroeder Clark @stassi]

We’re all in agreement that we need to stay inside, wash hands, and that Carole killed her husband, right? #TigerKing

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

I’ve bought 3 too many tie dye shirts for a young lady my age #quarentine #day4

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

Neighbs please don’t worry about me. I’m shouting bc I’m watching the #loveisblindfinale

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

Dear all stores and services I have subscribed to,

The only email I’m interested in reading is my school changing from remote classes to canceled. All other emails can go straight to the trash.

Very truly yours,
Jamie

[Sara Warf @SaraBWarf]

Rules for my students in our upcoming Zoom classes/meetings:
1. Wear clothes.
2. If you go to the bathroom, don’t take us along.
3. Hold any pets or kids up where I can see them at the beginning of each call so I can squee. If I ask “who’s a good booooooy” you need not answer.

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

So, 2020 eh?

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

No feeling is more annoying than a toe poking through a hole in your sock

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

who knew all these people still owned brooms

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

@bailzer Yes

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

Who wants to take me out to eat? I’m poor and Jake is out of town indefinitely. I’ll provide my own transportation and if you buy me wine I’ll probably be entertaining.

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

Totally forgot about tax refunds 2020 is looking up 9 days in

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

Had to google what EGOT was and now I am the most annoyed that I even cared to look in the first place

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

If you’re over the age of 24 (I’m being generous) and you have the phrase ‘I love you to the moon and back’ anywhere in your home you should probably reevaluate how you got here

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

When people at school find out what year I was born. Thank you for making every wrinkle shrink.

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

Walked in to Taco Bell and the woman at the cash register said ‘cheese quesadilla with extra jalapeño sauce?’ 💀 but also may be in love

[Jamie Ende @jamie_ende]

You see people honeymooning in Cancun and you pray to all the powers that be, you don’t spend the happiest days of your life where children try alcohol for the first time and buy ecstasy off the beach.