jamie

[jamie @jamthwaites]

Nice gesture but will have trouble fitting one of those in my wallet

[The Guardian @guardian]

New £50 note featuring Alan Turing to enter circulation in June https://t.co/8CGqQMLTJc

[jamie @jamthwaites]

I’ll be swiftly declining in case I miss the call from the pub

[Gymshark @Gymshark]

april 12th

[jamie @jamthwaites]

My mum when she walks into my room

[Liam Gallagher @liamgallagher]

Messi messi messi messi messi messi messi messi messi messi

[jamie @jamthwaites]

@BradleyReader15

[jamie @jamthwaites]

Idk why but getting sunburnt is so embarrassing

[jamie @jamthwaites]

Moral of the new story is never trust a mate who says he’s cut hair before

[jamie @jamthwaites]

Moral of the story is never trust a barber who only charges 4 quid

[jamie @jamthwaites]

The mrs after the first blowwy when quarantine’s over

[jamie @jamthwaites]

The worst thing about going back to uni is that I’ve got to start buying my own cheese again

[jamie @jamthwaites]

@lucykirkh4m Change the pesto pasta to tuna pasta and you’re bang on there 🤮

[jamie @jamthwaites]

When ur friend runs off to do something stupid on a night out

[jamie @jamthwaites]

@shelbysimpsonxx Sorry grandma xx

[jamie @jamthwaites]

Last night I asked this bloke where he was from and he said prison and that was the end of that conversation

[jamie @jamthwaites]

money disappearing out my bank account straight after pay day

[jamie @jamthwaites]

Just taken me 15 mins to get a packet of crisps because my mums new baby-proof cupboard locks are also 21 year old proof

[jamie @jamthwaites]

Do you ever just look at someone and think thank god I don’t have your hairline

[jamie @jamthwaites]

Today I got called a cunt for laughing at a man who tried to push a pull door

[jamie @jamthwaites]

I thought my road rage was bad, but after working in London for a few months I can confirm my pavement rage is even worse

[jamie @jamthwaites]

I two-stepped 17.6km at EE yesterday

[jamie @jamthwaites]

Eating in bed is all fun n games until you have to spend the next 3-5 working days getting the crumbs out