Uber driver, en route to the Seattle airport this morning: are you excited to go home?
Me: yes
Driver: *laughs* have you had your coffee yet?
Me: no
Driver: *laughs*
*silence for rest of the ride*
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I’ve been strength training for a few months and always refer to my arms as noodles bc they’re weak but this morning we decided I’ve made enough progress that they now qualify as… al dente noodles 💪🏼🍜
the phrase “shrimp scampura” just popped out of my brain? which appears to be a portmanteau of shrimp scampi & shrimp tempura? I don’t eat shrimp or even really know what shrimp scampi is but if that sounds like it could be a good idea for a dish you owe me $1,000,000
Me pulling up to the auto shop being like “hey boys I just need a lil oil change” and them being like “also your inspection sticker is expiring this month and your plates are on backwards”