jane

hater and lover of life and food

[jane @janeisliving]

i didn’t even eat over my limit yesterday but when i got in bed i started crying and had a panic attack, threw myself on the floor, and beat myself up with a dumbbell for half an hour. i’m ashamed of myself and everything i do

[jane @janeisliving]

also life update because i have been gone so long - i was in maintenance phase at bmi 16.5 focusing on school for a while, long story short i’m now a signed model lol.. getting back down around bmi 14.9 and maintaining there, hopefully in the healthiest way possible

[jane @janeisliving]

yesterday’s wieiad
~600 cal
30,593 steps

having crazy water retention since increasing from 20k to 30k steps a day, does anyone know how to fix? i feel like i have tried everything

[jane @janeisliving]

edtwt does anyone living in london know where i can weigh myself?? can’t afford a scale but i really have to know

[jane @janeisliving]

@pattypancakezz i have found the secret is studying abroad and being at a totally different university in another country for months at a time… this is it…….

[jane @janeisliving]

@likosphere i know that your thoughts are out of your control, but i mean it, you are perfect as you are :(

[jane @janeisliving]

ugliest wieiad. i’m really sick. i think i have covid :( but i made a perfectly frothy coffee this morning so all is well

[jane @janeisliving]

@vaguebones i cant see the tweet u are quoting but i just came across this and i’m shocked at how well you phrased this. genuinely. i think this is the exact root of my ed and it isn’t spoken about nearly enough

[jane @janeisliving]

@Mimimeowmeows he’s so good!! best part is the chocolate head which you can buy separately to just eat….

[jane @janeisliving]

@pattypancakezz YES DIVA YES

[jane @janeisliving]

yesterday.. been enjoying playing my food semi-cutely again..

[jane @janeisliving]

feeling a little better today… maybe my body and mind are not evil… maybe i should just do my homework…

[jane @janeisliving]

@pattypancakezz small steps = big changes….

[jane @janeisliving]

@pattypancakezz teriyaki flavored too… i owe costco a big old smooch on the lips for bringing these to stores in gigantic packs

[jane @janeisliving]

pretty little post-study plate

[jane @janeisliving]

it feels like everything is ending. i feel like i had my time of being happy and in recovery and i peaked in life this year, and now everything is going to get worse than it ever has been

[jane @janeisliving]

i accomplished so much this year and i’m so proud of it all. but the thought in the back of my mind that i need to ruin it all by getting sick again has still never gone away. i don’t think it ever does? do you eventually learn to deal with it better? i think so. i really hope so

[jane @janeisliving]

@pattypancakezz i hope you have been so well 🥲 i think about you often and i always hope you are giving yourself all the love you deserve

[jane @janeisliving]

i want to come back here just to have a safe space to talk about things but i fear NO ONE is active anymore and i would be shouting into the void :(

[jane @janeisliving]

some of yesterday, feeling absolutely awful honestly. i don’t know who i can even talk to about what’s going on and im torn between keeping it all to myself and finding someone who i can open up to. both feel like bad options, i’m just so sad and exhausted and afraid