garf #1 fan

southwest minnesota regional cup stacking champion | she/her |

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

first tweet so i thought i’d share my favorite newspaper caption ever

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

i can no longer say that i’ve never worn a toe ring

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

i said the exact same thing tonight but mom didn’t laugh as hard 😔 i will say something funnier next year

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

it’s chinese new year’s eve and i just pulled the “see you next year” on my mom before bed and she LOVED it i bet she’s gonna tell all her friends

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

i am no longer reading dune because i’m not simping anymore

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

the first person to suggest a hot dog eating contest was probably like “i can’t believe y’all are making me eat 50 hot dogs in one sitting! *shakes head and chuckles* thats so wild, okay here i go…feel free to join me if u want”

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

mom is setting me up with a chinese boi she knows and her advice was ‘don’t let him hear your real laugh right away, it might scare him off’ 😵‍💫

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

@ben_beese whoops i don’t feel this way, it’s slugging along…too wordy

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

i have started reading dune at nighttime before bed, that’s how i know i’m simping 🥸

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

hot girl activity of the day is handwashing my pillowcases and letting them air dry

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

i fell asleep at the table while reading little house in the big woods and mom just turned off the lights and let me sleep instead of shaking me awake….must be part of her ploy to convince me to stay in ny i know it, no other explanation

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

i can only imagine people in the burlington airport are thinking, “wow, she is eating the heck out of that crepe, that’s so hot and i am in love with her” probably

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

it’s been a stressful week but i got my gug (garfield mug) as a treat !

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

@TaraAffolter thank u 🥺 i’m gonna send this tweet to her

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

had my final student teaching presentation over zoom so i sent my mom the link and the first thing she said afterwards was “you shouldn’t have worn that turtleneck” 😞

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

what do y’all think 🤔 should i let him ruin my life for the next few months ?

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach how much people are trying to charge for garfield ceramic figurines on ebay…..i’m gonna throw up

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

@gfastie u have to show us now, please 🥺

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

i just noticed the typo, it was my own hubris that got in my way. i bet i would have gotten 15 more likes if i had proofread my piece 😔

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

not to be dramatic but my left foot is asleep and i am sick of this, why so inconvenient things happen to hot people

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

the proctor for my praxis test asked to see my ears (to make sure i didn’t have any listening devices) and i said “they’re a bit small but that’s what i’m working with” and she said “that’s perfect” so basically she called my ears perfect 🥰

[garf #1 fan @janfield_]

it’s the night before i take the praxis test and i started watching Happy Feet™️ and that’s called balance, sweetie 🥸