Jacque

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

boy math is when he does the oil changes and snow shoveling and she does the cooking and laundry and he decides they have equal workloads because they both do two chores

[No Quarter Will Be Given @chaedria]

This drag SENDS me

[jazmin @itsnotjazminn]

even god said

[Rafael Shimunov 🍉 🕎 @rafaelshimunov]

Did Twitter Blue tweet just cost Eli Lilly $LLY billions?

Yes.

[ILLENIUM @ILLENIUM]

They said I make Christian dubstep…

Happy Halloween

[ADHD Jesse @adhdjesse]

Nobody warns about the hazards of reading at a young age.

I’ll be mispronouncing words like “haphazard”, “melancholy”, and “hors d'oeuvres” for the rest of my life.

[wolf alex @gothtacular]

'landlord' and 'landlady' are needlessly gendered words. pls be more inclusive by using 'landbastard' instead

[Jacque @jaq0rita]

I work at a bar and bring my dog to work a decent amount. Tonight we went for a walk and as we’re going for a walk around the block I hear “is that Kaya from rocky top!?” My dog is officially more known than me

[Jacque @jaq0rita]

@MissSarahhh_ Or in the couch cushions

[zae @itszaeok]

hope the finale a little more... direct.

[vic @lil_cinnaroll]

ok but why isnt angus cloud tweeting rn #EUPHORIA

[Jacque @jaq0rita]

@MissSarahhh_ Ily 🥰

[James @MKUltraMoney]

These are starter Pokémon from Ohio

[melanie @earthdombaby]

THE MOON IS IN CAPRICORN

[Jacque @jaq0rita]

My dad accidentally pocket dialed one of my exes and now they’re getting lunch together LMAO

[michaela okland @MichaelaOkla]

Women love it when men have accents bc we have no idea what ur saying & that makes it more bearable

[WeOutchea @WeOutcheaAgain]

The US Department of Education keeps emailing me that my student loans are about to start back up…

But guess WHAT?!