Jared Mell

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@xychelsea If abortion services are too dangerous for doctors and their patients to decide, then I guess we should look to getting rid of the second amendment, as citizen vomit bag can’t be trusted with guns. Same exact fucking thing, except that guns are necessary in far fewer cases..

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@radiant_katie @connector4u @Gyuman82 @AZ_Brittney Realistically isn’t a concept you understand, with your totally sycophantic defense of his mocking a disabled reporter. I give you credit. Nobody has tried that ridiculous defense before. Your morals are certainly loose. Even if sincere, you are a tragedy.#watchoutforthecricket

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@GrandpaDaveID @TheOnion Wait, are you saying Jesus is Chris Christie? Works better if you pronounce his name like “Christ.” It makes sense, cuz he’s got the second coming in his last name. The first name he misses by a single cross, which suggests perhaps he put the crucifixion off until now. Yikes!

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@VeburianChevio @TrashFireBlog @loftipixels @joerogan @h3h3productions Just testing you. Who really is in control? Not a rhetorical question, there is a very specific answer that is illuminating, deeply satisfying, and one knows its accuracy the moment they hear it. It’s not really a secret. So who runs barter town, for real?

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@PegLulu2 I was ok when it was Milli Vanilli CDs, but when it’s actual artwork, no thanks.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@GerspacherSky @AZ_Brittney It’s not clearly wrong to feel threatened by her online following. They are likely to behave like sycophants and always have her back, so she never loses an argument. How can 5000 people be wrong? People with zero visibility, giving out relationship advice. Not healthy.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@xychelsea Idk, I think I could if the food and drugs were good and I had a comfy bed, temperature control, etc. just being alone in that room with nothing at all would kill me in about 5-7 miserable days. I’d have my lawyers look at the contract anyway.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@ElinorFrost14 @PrChrisHarbin @rlgriebe What a total crock of nonsense. Clearly you have no idea what you’re talking about.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@JakTenn @TeaPainUSA Your Twitter handle is epic. Could just be that my dad՚s a minister, and I grew up on the muppet show. And Metallica. So yeah, it requires some cultural context to seem this amazing, but for GenX Americans? Sick bro.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@Lady_Lo_Fi I’m so sorry. If we keep confronting this as a problem of addiction, we will get nowhere. Drug treatment doesn’t work. Statistically it’s an abysmal failure, even if you can get help. We’re all substance dependent. It’s the stigma that kills people, not the need for drugs.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@RealDanHo When I’m confused about which party to vote for (which is never, but on the slim chance I get seduced by the hivemind RepubliBorg Conservatory, I cover my bets) I look at party diversity. The one embracing it will best represent the country. Could be repubes some day. Not today.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

I think the author of this opinion piece is confused. She said Qanon formed to bring attention to illegal sex trafficking. No. It was Trump’s cover for his own history of child rape, and sexual misconduct.

https://t.co/fYklOYw0kv

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@PhilLaRoche914 @SeeingThru @donwinslow Even towns in the old west rarely had open carry. It’s a terrible idea. Open carry is just going to escalate to a bunch of untrained and indiscriminate people knee jerking. I trust you to own a gun. I don’t trust all of society to have loaded guns in public spaces.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@DonaldJTrumpJr Yes, you’re missing the fact that confession is the first sign of accountability. Something your father hasn’t displayed during his entire sad life. Is it better to sexually assault people and lie about it? Your dad thinks so. You don’t care about the victims, just reputation.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@DonaldJTrumpJr “Country” means “dad’s reputation” to you, this much is clear.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@KellyannePolls No, because in addition to the niceties you suggest, there’s the added mess Trump left for others to clean up, as is his wont. I ain’t cleaning up another’s mess without mentioning who’s responsible. It’s not pettiness, it’s setting the record straight. The one you scratched.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@pattonoswalt Gives “pussywhipped” additional layers of meaning. Not that this was a term needing an excuse for more public appearances. Weren I among the first to make that joke, I might care, but since I rank somewhere at the 168 million mark, I figure the cat’s outta the bag. Pun intended.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@jpnseven @pattonoswalt The fact you don’t mention Eartha Kitt nor Julie Newmar suggests perhaps you’re unaware of their performances or haven’t seen them? Different medium, taken less seriously, but tons of Batman fans rank one of them #1 (esp. Kitt) that it may be worth it to you to check them out.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@dextermell18 Probably the Valentine’s Day thing. They don’t want to have to buy you a present right before you spoil them. I guess we could’ve planned that better, sorry dude.

[Jared Mell @jaredamell]

@dextermell18 It matches the tempo of my heart, most blinkers. Just that tick-tock-tick-tock. My body just handles heartbeat for me. But breathing takes work. Water must’ve been so much harder. Even whales wouldn’t give up gas breathing. I think lungs are angel wings inside out. Matrix EV6.