Jared

What up, I’m Jared, I’m 21, and I recently learned how to fucking read.

[Jared @jaredbenson44]

Mom got me my very own Dundie Award before going off to college.... my life is complete

[tweet davidson @andyreed]

when guys become dads they’re sorted into one of these four houses like in harry potter

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

Bobi, the world's oldest dog, has passed away at the age of 31 years and 163 days. Rest easy, sweet boy. 14/10 ❤

[ＷＥＴ ＡＲＭＡＤＩＬＬＯ @BauceSauce]

as a millennial dad I’ve never not been Too Online so I know the best combination of buzzwords to maximize being annoying to my tween; she got a meatball sub for lunch and I said “oh she in her marinara era for real” and the eye roll could have powered our house for a year

[elle ✨ @heyellehogan]

I’m at the airport reading, and a man in his ~60s walks by me and says: “Great book. Wish I had it earlier.”

So I ask, “Really? Why?”

That sparked a convo about how he went from Harvard MBA to investment banking in NYC… to an existential crisis at 35 where he lost himself, gave it all up, found himself, met his wife, and built multiple business.

What stuck with me the most is how he talked about his wife. He just LIT up.

“If you think I’ve had an interesting life, you should meet my wife! She’d blow you away. She blows everyone away. She’s the most impressive woman I’ve ever met. She’s my linchpin.”

Me: “What advice would you give for choosing a life partner?”

Him: “If you have a big vision and want a big life, you need someone who knocks your socks off. It’s gotta feel like winning the lottery. This person is your #1 advice giver. Your lifelong backup. Your companion for thousands of meals, events, problems. You need someone better than you in a lot of ways. Whose mind and heart amaze you. I wake up every day like, ‘How on earth did I land her?’ She says the same thing. That’s when you know.”

Then he showed me like 300 pictures of them and their kids on vacation around the world.

Couple goals. 🥹

[DC Unhilist @Vamos_DCU]

A guy in my flight apparently plays the bagpipes. He has a little electric bagpipe he plugs his headphones into and only he can hear. He has been silently (to everyone but himself) ripping his bagpipe for 5 straight hours. I have no choice but to respect this.

[Christian Becker @TheAmazingBeck]

Kinda sucks to use Sandra Bullock’s face for all this horrible stuff and not the ACTUAL lady who did it.

[hardmaru @hardmaru]

This design is better than “𝕏”.

[Everything Out Of Context @EverythingOOC]

fuck it, the entire Oppenheimer movie

[Governor Tim Walz @GovTimWalz]

Ope just gonna scooch right past ya

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Exploring space is easier than exploring the ocean bottom…

Pressure difference between a space capsule and the vacuum of space:
Less than 1 atm.

Pressure difference between a submersible at the Titanic and the surrounding water pressure:
Nearly 400 atm. (5,600 lbs per sq inch)

[Liz Charboneau @lizchar]

I’m gonna free the Muppets

[Moose @703Moose]

Yeah I’ll remember this next time I’ve driving through bowser’s castle