Jared Cox

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@DHSgov If judges, prosecutors and REAL peace officers can do their jobs without masking, so can your overpaid, jack-booted thugs. If you can’t face the people you’re assaulting and kidnapping, then stay out of my fucking state, fascists.

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@LEGO_Group 🫴

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@laurenboebert Headaches 👏 are 👏 not 👏 a 👏 communicable 👏 disease 👏 you 👏 donut! 🤦‍♂️

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

TIL the reason an entire generation has anxiety is because Blue’s Clues Steve left suddenly without warning.
J/K it’s because the world is more financially crippling, socially disconnected and ecologically screwed than ever before and nobody is doing anything about it.

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@CocaCola What is this? This tastes like you mixed RC Cola with Pepsi and over-carbonated it. Did you learn nothing from “New Coke”? I don’t WANT it to taste “more like regular Coke”. I liked it the way it was. You’d never pull this kind of shit with Diet Coke! #NewCokeZero

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@UniStudios Reese’s Pieces scavenger hunt. Anyone remember that?

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@MicrosoftEdge is the @myspacetom of Windows. Every time I delete it from my taskbar, next day there it is, right back on my taskbar.

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

Is anyone else bothered by the fact the the Boomers in charge took a very measured approach to vaccine eligibility - first 75+, then 65+, then 50+... right up until they were all eligible, then are throwing the entire under-50 population into Vaccine Thunderdome?

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

Me: What's in your mouth?
Dog: What's a mouth? I don't have a mouth.
Me: If you don't have a mouth, how are you talking to me right now? Answer me that?
Dog: ...
Me: *collapses into a ball of Ionesconian despair while my dog continues eating his gutter-snack*

#QuarantineLife

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@CA_EDD When can I expect to receive info on how to verify my identity in order to resume my claim? It was promised "beginning January 6th."

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

Hey @disneyplus there are a few glaring omissions from your Muppets catalog! When can we expect The Muppet Show, Muppets Tonight and The Muppets Take Manhattan to drop?

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@Jim_Jordan Hey Jimmy. My industry has been in FULL SHUTDOWN since March. That's millions of us unable to apply the skills we've spent our entire careers developing. Point me in the direction of these stimulus jobs, would you?

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

Hahahahahahahahaha!

[roddy bicch 性交 🅴 @hardsoh]

THE WAY I’M HACKING A LUNG RN

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@realDonaldTrump 56% is still an F.

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@realDonaldTrump Great! Now let’s get back to those taxes and the forced hysterectomies at your concentration camps, shall we?

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

@realDonaldTrump @WhiteHouse You still have senior staff left?

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

I unlocked $39 Rush tickets for #Candide at @LAOpera on @TodayTix! Tap to get them too: https://t.co/O3iN7L2XkQ #TodayTixRush

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

I unlocked $20 Rush tickets to #PiratesOfPenzance at @PasPlayhouse on @TodayTix! Tap to get them too: https://t.co/XPOQ8u7jU5 #TodayTixRush

[Jared Cox @jaredcox]

#2012ZazzleBaytoBreakers #JaredCox crossed Finish at 08:33 AM Split: 01:21:38 Pace: 10:57 min/mi - @BazuSports