Jared Walters

Father of twins boys. Sports nut. Sarcasm expert. Lover of appetizers, stupid comedies and people.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

It's pretty simple guys. @elonmusk is kiting checks. That's all.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

Right out of the @realDonaldTrump playbook.

Got Epstein questions?
- Watch this video of us killing Venezuelan "gangs and drug lords".

Losing a war?
- "Look! UFOs!"

We are robbing you blind?
- Check out what we did for fishing!

These people are the scum of the earth.

[ABC News @ABC]

New UFO files have been released by the Trump administration that include several vivid descriptions of mysterious sightings in the sky. https://t.co/Y5JtNlav3e

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

Amazing National Anthem! LET'S GO BOYS!!!! LFG!! #USMNT

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

Dear @FOXSports -

It's time to move on from @AlexiLalas. Immediately. He's unwatchable.

Sincerely,
The vast majority of American soccer fans.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

Watching @RubinReport make an absolute fool of himself is my new favorite pastime. He didn't get dog walked by someone else, he's just an idiot with nothing substantial and it's hilarious.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@getnickwright Troll level: Expert.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

Want to know how I know I am getting old? I have to google some guests that are on @hotonesgameshow just to figure out who they are and what they do.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

I’m so tired of people like @ShawnRyan762 @megynkelly @joerogan and @TuckerCarlson saying this type of shit. About 75 million people told you this was going to happen. For months. You didn’t listen. You promoted him. Fuck you.

[Marco Foster @MarcoFoster_]

Shawn Ryan on Trump: “I just don’t see any positivity coming out of this administration. It seems very self-serving. He had Todd Blanche do the dirty work so him or anybody in his family could never be audited by the IRS? What the fuck is that shit? The drone company, the $400M jet from Qatar, the Executives Club. Does this shit look like he’s serving the fucking people? No.”

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

I say this with the utmost disrespect, fuck @elonmusk.

[More Perfect Union @MorePerfectUS]

NEW: Elon Musk wants a SpaceX IPO valuing the company at upwards of $1.75 trillion.

To get there he got the rules changed so that index funds, with millions of Americans' retirement savings, are forced to buy in.

Retirees could take huge losses, while insiders cash out.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@dannywgoodwin Incorrect. Next.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@FoxNews We are such a joke.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@RaminNasibov A felon became president.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

I’m done with @ChipotleTweets. I understand that it’s their business model to screw over customers that order online. People that aren’t in the store watching you put the food in. But this is what I got, and it’s missing meat. The most basic of ingredients. QDOBA here we come!

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@WhiteHouse You are the worst president in history, and it’s not particularly close.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

Yeah baby! Rock Chalk!

[Kansas Baseball @KUBaseball]

THE KANSAS JAYHAWKS ARE YOUR BIG 12 CHAMPIONS 🏆

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@FoxNews Everything they say is a projection of self meant to make you look elsewhere.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@kevinolearytv I say this with the utmost disrespect, fuck you.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@AdamSchefter So RB numbers? Thanks for the clarification.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@FoxNews @SecRubio Lol. Cuba is not a threat. It’s beachfront property that @realDonaldTrump wants, that’s all. He’s using his presidency to benefit financially, as usual.

[Jared Walters @JaredDWalters]

@katsuxbt @danawhite is insecurity’s final boss.