Few things I learned being a groomsman in my buddy’s wedding this weekend:
1. You can NEVER name your son Phineas
2. Host your entire extended family in one hotel, it’s actually electric.
3. Renting tuxes is retarded and a waste of money.
4. Big titties = big personalities
Happy 67th Birthday to my good friend @TheFrankCaldwel. This X community wouldn’t be the same without you. Hope you partied hard at that Latino club and met your future torta wifey last night 🎉
The life in front of you is far more important than the life behind you.
Let go of the fear, let go of the guilt, let go of it all and go be a dog.
#ForTheFaithful
Got my whole schools hockey team next door playing cup pong and hammering beers
Fellas get your asses back on the ice and keep practicing, we sucked ass last year
#Pigeons