Jared

Husband, Cat Dad, Pilot (drone), Son, Scientist, Photoshopper, Brother, CEO, Video Editor, Web Design, stuff

For inquiries contact [email protected]

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

This [pinned] thread will serve as a lifelong list of things I despise:

Pizza Hut
Progressive Insurance
Wayfair
Nestle
Hobby Lobby

(congrats on making the top 5 guys)

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

Frontier/Verizon came to setup new Internet today. I only switched because of the Meta Ray Ban promotion. I'm only tweeting this out because I want to be mad at something in 60 days when they pull the deal on me

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

How the fuck is this a real human being

[Robert F. Kennedy Jr @RobertKennedyJr]

Starling rescue today at Dulles Airport.

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

Hold your loved ones closely because this means Caitlyn Jenner is going to be driving a lot more

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Caitlyn Jenner reveals she can no longer travel internationally after her renewed passport was returned with a male gender marker under Trump’s passport policy.

She wrote a letter to Trump asking for help but has yet to receive a response.

[goma @soigomaa]

My "Roman Empire is the realization that my life is a lottery win. Somewhere in Sudan, Pålestine, iran, Afghanistan, Iraq or Congo, there is a boy smarter than me. He is more disciplined, more resilient, and holds more potential in his single finger than I do in my entire career.
The only difference? I am siting in a train and he is sting in the rubble of his dreams.
My "bad days" are his wildest dreams.
My "burnout" is a luxury he can't afford because his only job is staying alive.
It's geographical luck and it's a haunting injustice that we all refuse to acknowledge and look away

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

Nothing like a nice glass of peanut butter milk from @culvers, I feel like maybe it should be some type of policy that if someone is waiting 15+ min for their curdside order, at least make the ice cream again (or just tell them to come in and get it)

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Remember that I predicted a long time ago that President Obama will attack Iran because of his inability to negotiate properly-not skilled!

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

THIS IS MY YEAR, stacking wins starts NOW thanks to @Verizon #VerizonAccess

Why yes, yes I would love to go to the @ChicagoBears vs @RamsNFL on Sunday #BearDown

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

See you in Batavia, @JoeyAveryComedy #IAmTheTwelve

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

Congrats on getting whatever stupid participation award Ellen musk is going to give this for November's hit tweets

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani to require all New York elementary school students to learn Arabic numerals.

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Texas A&M said a state trooper who made contact with South Carolina players during Saturday's game has been relieved of his game-day duties.

https://t.co/1d4VmIAXbp

[Joshua Reed Eakle 🗽 @JoshEakle]

Bill Clinton being in the Epstein files is pissing me off.

What am I going to do with my...

Clinton Bible
Clinton flag
Clinton coins
Clinton steaks
Clinton phone
Clinton watch
Clinton signs
Clinton University degree
Clinton sneakers???

I'm going to lose a fortune!!!

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

Usually I laugh first AND the hardest at my best, layered, meta humor jokes, just before explaining them

GOOD ONE JD!!!

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

JD Vance: "I don't know if you saw this media circulating on social media, but the president met the president of Syria, al-Sharaa, in the Oval Office a couple of days ago, and he asked him, 'How many wives do you have?' Heh heh heh heh heh! Haaaaaa! Amazing comedic timing."

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

Btw this is exactly why Uncle Rico would've won state

[Bussin' With The Boys @BussinWTB]

Do NOT show Dan Campbell this play

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

This is so much easier than going to college for it, trust me

[Majooo @Mhonarissaa]

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

It breaks my heart every year, oh what could have been

[Visit Sault Ste. Marie @VisitTheSault]

Edmund Fitzgerald disappears from the radar of the S.S. Arthur M. Anderson, prompting a call to the Coast Guard to inform them of the situation.

[Jared @JaredJaredMedia]

What do the bullets say on them

[Fox News @FoxNews]

"Last night likely acts of violence were averted before they happened."

An Alabama man was arrested after investigators discovered alleged plans to carry out attacks on synagogues. The sheriff says the suspect "planned to shoot it out with the police."

[Legion Hoops @LegionHoops]

ESPN just quietly removed their “ESPN Bet” logo during a segment on Terry Rozier and Chauncey Billups’ gambling arrests this morning

You can’t make this up. 💀💀💀

[Jeet Heer @HeerJeet]

Sure this seems impressive but think of how ridiculously far China lags in funding wars in the Middle East.