jared knetzer

Father // Husband

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Exactly

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

@realMaalouf Who’s going to tell them?

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

@RepLuna No shame in these people calling for the assassination of innocent people who don’t think so narrow-minded like them.

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

@gulfcoastjam what’s up with the sound today? Sounds like a rollercoaster and not in a good way.

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

Hey @elonmusk buy @tacobell and fix their app.

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

Community service week at my son's preschool. To kick it off, they were asked to dress as their favorite community service hero. Obviously, he had to dress up as @DogBountyHunter

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

@stocek_kyle @mattswider Same....Ugh.

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

Dear @Whataburger can please help me understand what the purpose of mobile ordering through the app is if i still have to wait an hour in line at the drive thru??

P.s. your new Pico de Gallo burger is everything, but i can’t keep waiting in line an hour + for one 😢

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

@megynkelly The best and easiest boiled eggs involve a pressure cooker.

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

I can’t believe there was a time in my life where i hated Dr. Bell #TheResident

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

@VANS_66 i guess nobody checks your twitter account either.

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

@VANS_66 anybody over there ever check the emails from the contact forms on your website?

[BG @BGSports365]

Who did it better? Shakira or Patrick Star? #SuperBowLIV #SuperBowl

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

@LandOLakesInc please make individual butter packets that are squeezable packets like ketchup. Restaurants (at least here in FL) are required to refrigerate their butter. At least with a pack like ketchup we could knead it and squeeze it on our bread. Who likes cold hard butter?

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

Wife: what do you think of the 6” fingernails on women?

Me: they’re exotic but not practical.

Wife: exotic?

Me: yeah, like a stripper would wear something like that.

Wife: you think strippers are exotic?

Me: well, they’re not called “exotic dancers” for no reason 🤔

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

I don’t know even know who #DemiLovato is, but i think it’s safe to say everybody’s listening to her now #GrammyAwards

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

@rudythesnowman 70 degrees in FL today. 🏝

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

Well, i can stop watching @NBCTheVoice now that @WillBremanMusic is out. This has to be rigged. @johnlegend #bluecrew

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

Cancelling my appliance delivery with @HomeDepot today and heading on over to @Lowes to repurchase. It’s not going to be too hard for them to beat HD’s customer service. I’ve always been loyal to HD, but after this nightmare experience, I’ll go out of my way for the blue building

[jared knetzer @jaredknetzer]

Hey @FoxNews get your writers to fact check before talking about #HurricaneDorian - #HurricaneMichael was a Cat5 Hurricane last October...and we’re still recovering...or did the media already forget about us?