jaredstargelcomedy

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

If @IHOP kids eat free... does that mean my Dad and I are good if my Grandpa goes?

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

You may hate me but it ain't no lie, the time is five five five

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

In Gordon Ramsey's voice "this fish is so raw The Wu-Tang Clan just offer it a record deal"

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

Take a good look at yourself... Are you rocking in the free world?

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

There's a dog that now follows me on IG now, so I guess you could say the comedy career is going amazing

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

Does anyone know the leathal dose for dog hair or if it's toxic if smoked? Asking for myself

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

N*SYNC > Backstreet

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

Note to self: wash hands after cutting jalapeños and before you go pee

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

Ok be honest... you had no idea that L was 50 in Roman Numerals

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

Just know this... if you show me a video and don't make it full screen, I hate you

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

@JimGaffigan is my spirit animal

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

Sorry I was late, I got caught in traffic at Bojangles

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

Bing sucks ass... I know this because I Google'd it

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

As a man here's my opinion on abortions... I can't have one, so I don't have one

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

So much for beating my meat😢 turns out I don't even own a meat tenderizer

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

I hope this weather doesn't make my hair frizzy

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

My dad has until Father's Day to hire me a baby sitter

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

So who would win in a fist fight, Johnny Walker or Jack Daniels?

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

Deer Stroganoff sounds like the beginning of a Russian love letter

[jaredstargelcomedy @jaredleecomedy]

Nothing makes you miss your Ex more then a 6 month dry spell