Jason Hoard

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

@mulaney Long lost twin? Loved your Portland show. Looking forward to the early show in Indy tomorrow so I can sell autographs this time. The more famous you get, the more famous I get - so keep it up!

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

@mulaney Long lost twin? Loved your Portland show. Looking forward to the early show in Indy tomorrow so I can sell autographs this time. The more famous you get, the more famous I get - so keep it up!

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

N-acetylglucosamine-1-phosphodiester alpha-N-acetylglucoaminidase....is a thing. Carry on. #welcometomyweekend

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

Solid roommate. @kaseychandler #prosoflivingwithafemale

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

Some people see 10:30 as time to get ready for bed. I see it and say, "3 hours left to do that shit I've been putting off since dinner."

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

What is this?!? A seat tray for ANTS?!?

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

As a man who will only travel on planes wearing flip flops, I have but one hope in life: that they clean those floors by the security gate.

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

If you've never watched the music video for "On My Way" by Rusted Root, it's exactly what you'd expect it to be.

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

My favorite song to pretend I know all the words to is "Snow (Hey Oh)" by RHCPs.

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

Quote of the day: "I respect cannibalism more than being a vegan." #america

[The Fighting Irish @FightingIrish]

Hey, Molly (@ByGollyMolly12).

It wasn't a dream.

Congrats on the NCAA Title in the 10,000 meters!

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

Practicing her big speech for tomorrow #valedictorian

[The Fighting Irish @FightingIrish]

Anna Kottkamp's itinerary:

Sat.
🚣8:15am: 2nd @ ACCs
✈️10:15am: Board University Jet

Sun.
📚9 AM: Valedictory Speech

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

*fire department shows up after errant candle-lighting* Boo: "Do you think they could give us a ride to Finny's?" @jvitez1

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

Best answer a professor could ever give to a question: "That won't be on the test."

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

When writing out the word "characteristic," I still say in my head "char....actor....issstick"

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

Because it's bird seed.

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

Do wanna know why there's a bird on the packaging of this trail mix?

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

Get those gender stereotypes instilled early with this great Christmas toy!!!

[Jason Hoard @jaserbase]

Getting good grade in a class = give professor good evaluation
Getting bad grade = verbally eviscerate and suggest they be fired