jasmine🪩

🇵🇷/🇺🇸 she/her 🧡

[Maya Ishii-Peters Moves To Tuckahoe @meltingmom3nt]

Never putting myself out there romantically and hoping for a man to magically appear in my life

[Idk @Luvidk21_]

“you already told us”

[Zoya🕊️ @Zoya_ki_batein]

My male coworker told me women shouldn’t be angry when men stare because “you can’t expect men not to notice attractive women.” I asked him if noticing something and staring at it were the same thing. He said yes. I asked if that meant I could stare at his bald spot for twenty minutes because I noticed it. He covered his head.

[meg 🏎️⚾️ @pisspoorgemini]

how i feel submitting my online assignments at 4:15 and not at 11:59

[Mads @europemaxxed]

i don't know how many more $11-$19 transactions i can take

[𓆩♡𓆪 @dontlovedave]

me trying to convince myself that everything will be okay but in reality my heart has never felt heavier

[solelynostalgia @solelynostalgia]

they tugged on one direction’s wig a bit with this one

[duck @ExtremeBlitz__]

me realizing im 22 and not 18

[soulvapour @soulvapourz]

almost swallowed mouthwash cuz my brain thought it was a shot

[McNasty @McNasty]

what if the entity that took over nikki was a guy entity. and the whole time bear was just banging a guy and didnt know it. gay ahh bear

[Riva Mae s. Boongaling @hillhaus]

Me trying to remember the name of Odysseus’s wife

[Mo @rwylmo]

Chose wait and save on uber and I’ve been waiting for over 55 minutes

[Keith @nagy_minaj]

Odysseus returning to Ithaca

[Cameron 🇺🇸 🗽🦅 @CameronCorduroy]

Pattinson hit that "plate-licker" line harder than a Klansman

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Telemachus-maxxing by wanting everybody to leave my house

[Yashaswini P @YashaswiniP27]

Pattinson was so good, I wanted to beat the shit out of him.

[Chris Evangelista @cevangelista413]

Zeus’ Law says you can have a little treat

[Heavy Spoilers @heavyspoilers]

The Gods listening to Odysseus’ men eating the cattle

[zoë rose bryant @zoerosebryant]

can’t stop thinking about “back to your disguises.”