Jason Baron

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

@Half_A_Pond

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

I don’t like movies that get cute and creative about showing text messages.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

There is a special place in hell for people who walk diagonally through the crowd without saying “excuse me” at airports.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

People who profess to have a lot of common sense have usually gotten really good at pointing out the obvious as though it's noteworthy.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

@fightkarnivore This kid is too far gone to learn any lessons.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

If I were retired, I would make time to untangle all of my ratchet straps.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre killer obviously never had to piss with the choke on a cold start.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

A can of Fancy Feast for my cat is almost a dollar. Sardines and Herring are about .63 on sale, so it’s a real treat and cheaper. Odd times we live in.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

Pretty sure hotel televisions only play The First 48 and Ice Road Truckers.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

Just finished #Succesion se4 “Kill List” and kept expecting someone to get burned alive wearing a bear.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

Corvettes need round tail lights.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

Ever notice people in zombie and vampire shows have no knowledge of a vampire or zombie?

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

I bet by the time I croak, I will have given up a year of life just from backspacing Apple’s autocorrect.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

So now that Liver King came out and apologized for steroids, can we just get more normal about saying it's something people who want to look a certain way do? It's disingenuous to sell exercise programs from Thor and not at least acknowledge there are other components in play.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

It’s real hot salsa when your ears itch.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

To brave I-55/294, ORD parking and shuttles, airport security and STILL have the energy to scrawl something into the urinal at Gate E. You have more energy than I Beem5.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

@dvntownsend see what has become of us!??

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

People who send work emails outside of business hours are snipers.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

Live for today. Especially if today includes fresh garden tomatoes.

[Jason Baron @jason_baron]

I love heavy metal 100x more than politics, and I would not not put a Megadeth flag in my front yard. I don't get it. #justsayin