Jason DeWall

Former Homecoming King, Current pleb

[Jason DeWall @JasonDeWall]

Today I audition for casual dad at dairy queen. What I'm saying is all my grandmothers prayers have been answered.

[Carmichael Dave @CarmichaelDave]

BREAKING:

The NBA has now traded Paul George for:

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
Jaylen Brown
Domantas Sabonis
Victor Oladipo
Danilo Gallinari

And

7 1st round picks plus 4 pick swaps

Paul George is the Most Valuable Player in NBA history.

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

Zoe Saldana seems to be in some kind of Church of Scientology type situation but with T-Mobile

[Dana Wessel @DanaWessel]

There never was a folk hero in local sports like Naz Reid and there never will be another. The organic groundswell was so pure and beautiful. Two Words. Honk If. Tattoos. Towels going global. No mass marketing campaign. Just local fans rallying an amazing guy and his story.

[Siddhant Adlakha @SiddhantAdlakha]

Probably Steven

[John Bonnes @TwinsGeek]

And now a message from the dystopian streets of Minneapolis…
#WedgeCatTour

[Drew @drewdyck]

Panera is the perfect choice when you’re not sick but you’re craving hospital food. And you’re like, my bank balance is too high.

[Kip Conlon @kipconlon]

Your repeated insistence you “ain't afraid of no ghost” suggests to me the opposite is true.

[Andrew Lynch @andrewglynch]

if a toddler puts a sticker on you, that’s a sign of great respect in their culture

[Kyle Theige @KyleTheige]

Karl-Anthony Towns getting a ring before Jimmy Butler brings me great joy.

Congrats KAT.

[Jason DeWall @JasonDeWall]

@MitchMossRadio I don't understand Fox's confidence of course but it's his job to like...have it in himself guess. BUT WHY the coaches confidence in the player given all the evidence to the contrary?

[Michael Beschloss @BeschlossDC]

JFK gave best speech of his life, this week 1963, at American University:
“If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. . . .We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal."

[Brandon Carney @BenchwarmerBran]

First time he’s ever been called for carrying

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

Courtside at MSG is funny because it’s like beloved former Knicks star from the ‘90s next to an insanely famous actor next to the CEO of a company that turns orphans into AI data center liquid coolant.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Fun fact: The underlying purpose of Al is to allow wealth to access skill while removing from the skilled the ability to access wealth.

[Joel Jeffrey @joeljeffrey]

Cats are the perfect companions for men in their 40s because they get equally as excited about seeing birds in their yard.

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

I know it’s become pretty cliche and cringey to talk about at this point but if you’re under like 25 I cannot stress enough how one time Obama wore a tan suit and people spent a week arguing over whether or not it was demeaning to the Oval Office and they were serious about it.

[Jason DeWall @JasonDeWall]

Look at this chickenshit stuff right here. Don't call it a market if you limit the efficient players. Call it what it is, a stupidity grift.

[Dan Lifshatz @DanLifshatz]

Thanks so much @DKSports!!!

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

I miss real intentional walks. The crowd booing, the .01% chance something weird would happen, the batter giving off “Yeah, I knew you didn’t want any this” vibes. If you want to walk a guy you should at least have to look like pussies for 30 seconds. It was good.

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

My dream America 250 lineup

1. Kris Kross
2. Montel Jordan
3. LFO
4. Snow
5. Ashlee Simpson
6. Billy Ray Cyrus
7. Chumbawamba
8. Sir Mix-A-Lot
9. Sisqo
10. MC Hammer

[giraffe @neckincrisis]

mind your own fucking business