Broken Puppet

Unapologetically Semipresent
Idiot Savant (like 1% Savant...)
(crouton/seasoned cracker)
minimally melanated mom person

[Broken Puppet @java_assassin]

Stretch marks?

You mean sick ass lightning
tattoos?

[Broken Puppet @java_assassin]

It's only Corinthian leather if it comes from the biblical area of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling jerky skin.

[Man of Letters @manofletterz]

I've noticed that if I go into the kitchen and only look in one direction I won't have any dirty dishes

[Broken Puppet @java_assassin]

I think I stopped believing

Shhh... Nobody tell Journey

[Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal]

We’re ten minutes into Short Circuit and I’ve already heard “son of a bitch,” “bullshit, and “fucker.” 80’s PG movies were just built different.

[FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud]

You want me to get involved in the community? That place outside? Where there are people?

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Wanna know what the 90’s were like?

1. put your phone down

2. go outside

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Nice injury you got there. Be a real shame if someone added insult to it.

[eLeni @eleniZarro]

Sometimes I feel young, and then I remember the number we’d call to get the correct time to set our clocks

[@sherisayssit @sherisayssit]

When someone tells me I’m gaslighting them I set them on fire.

[Terri @terrip38]

Nobody asks a rhetorical question better than the server at a Mexican restaurant asking if you’d like a refill on the chips.

[Seann @Happee69014151]

How lucky I might be if your eyes gazed upon me and you decided I was worthy.

[Manders 🌻 @SunflowerGpsy]

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

They've officially canceled school for tomorrow because of snow but we aren't telling the kids because why ruin an early bedtime?

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

Keep your hands to yourself lady, I invited you over to craft and that's what we're going to do.

[Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness]

Introverts wear glasses to avoid eye contacts