jay is using this as a diary

i don’t feel real anymore. my body moves without me and my brain isn’t listening

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

an update

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

a full year sober of drink now. i didn’t think id be able to get here but i did and im so fucking proud of myself. like i did that

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

i don’t think i’m surviving sunrise on the reaping. it took me 3 days to read the book cause i kept crying and not being able to read the words. noah kahan is my depression playlist and all the kids are so young. it ain’t gonna be fun

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

things i’ve done today:
cry because everything hurts
cry because i dropped my bowl of cereal
cry because i miss techno
cry because i miss sbi

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

i never did update on this. biopsy fucking sucked and i got stuck in a mri for 3 hours after that but it ain’t cancer. they said its a cyst and i can get it removed if i want but that means surgery and i ain’t bouncing to have one again

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

when my therapist tells me i don’t gotta worry about my health but the docs found something and want a biopsy in a week

[🍀jj🍀 @staRRBOTS]

I think the most funny thing about Twitter is that 90% percent of the users here didn’t get the chance to be the big bad bully’s in highschool/middle school so they take their judgement and anger out on a bunch of randoms on the internet

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

sorry wednesday for using your tweet but i have been using this account as a therapy/diary for a year or so and seeing all of this shit made me really shit and remembered how i felt at the time

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

i’m unpriving for this i don’t care. still doing this shit even after a person killed themselves over the same thing and i attempted to kill myself. thank god that i got help when i begged for it because if i didn’t i wouldn’t be here. you all act so moral but never care 1/

[☆☆wednesday @mycarlightsup]

i want to desperately avoid getting involved but the way you people are continuing to talk about this issue even after your point has been proven tells me that you don't care about the person in question getting the help they need, you care about a moral high-ground.

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

i hope alice is resting easy even if a lot of you have forgotten about her. i never did and i think it’s disgusting how you are all doing this even after you point has been made.

7/7

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

Alice’s blood is on your hands.

Otto’s blood will be on your hands.

my blood could have been on all of your hands.

6/

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

i just want to die at this point but that would mean leaving my baby and i can’t do that to her

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

me when i think about kms but i can’t because i told my therapist i was okay

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

so i might do a james marriott tour next year

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

so like anyone in manchester wanna do anything november 4th?

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

so my dad just surprised us with a trip to Manchester in November. i’m going but like emotions

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

so everyone keeps asking if i’m good. like yeah im fine ive been in therapy almost my entire life like im chill

[jay is using this as a diary @jay_whyn0t]

i went to the police and reported my rape today. i told my family. it’s been 10 years will i ever feel better?