snagfish✨

momma 💙 #JamesonVan

[Sean O’Connor @seanoconnz]

My son gave me a cold. But it’s okay because I’ll have my revenge when the generational trauma I passed down to him sinks its claws in.

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

Dude being a parent is wack. Like a random STRANGER old man once asked me if I was breastfeeding at a diner once and nobody cared, but as soon as someone asks me what my sons favorite snack is and I say chapstick, I’M THE WEIRD ONE?!

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

I’m sick of telling people that I’m sober and them immediately asking “why?!” Like maybe I realized I’m a better person without alcohol in my life, leave me alone.

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

@ParasiteHilton Mine goes at the top 🤌🏻

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

Raising my son outside of any religion is my business and mine only. I guarantee he’ll be a good person. And much less judgmental than someone who is a part of the church thinking they are better than someone who isn’t.

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

Does anyone else remember that show on daytime tv where a guy just broke into peoples houses and stole all their shit while the owners sat in a van and watched the whole time or was that a fever dream?

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

@ParasiteHilton GLITTER IS THE EMBODIMENT OF HALLOWEEN

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

I keep wondering why my back hurts so bad and I’m only 22 but then I remember I’m a belly sleeper and I got big titties so I really do be sleepin like this.

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

@baileebarberr Then I’m DONE done😂

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

I’ve been praying for my period for days. So today I put on white panties as an offering to the period gods. This has gotta work.

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

@baileebarberr Fine I’ll have a girl and you can have a boy and they can date like jamey and serenity 💕

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

@natebaran @ProFootballTalk They’re running out of things to talk about Nathaniel😂

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

@mommygroff

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

I’m doing a 3-day fast and I’m only at the end of day one and I’m dying. So I put on a survival show thinking there won’t be any food to tempt me. Got me wondering what tree grubs really taste like.

[Speak Comedy @SpeakComedy]

👀💀

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

@TyeRae143 Same can we go camping and drink after the world unfucks itself?🥺

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

Me:
Anxiety: OH HEY REMEMBER ALL THE MISTAKES YOU HAVE MADE THAT LEAD YOU TO THIS SHITTY LIFE YOU ARE STUCK IN LOL

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

@Tasha_danielle6 A Q U E E N 👏🏻👸🏼

[snagfish✨ @JayceeJensen01]

@JCook162 If anyone ever accomplishes their five year plans they’ve sold their soul to get there. Things happen when they are ready to. Don’t be hard on yourself ❤️