Johnny D Goode

Permanently closed

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@mattgreencomedy I always liked teethbrush as the plural of toothbrush but people just look at me funny when I say it.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

There’s a business opportunity here for a polling company that can actually get the answer right. And that means accounting for the tranche of people who won’t admit in public what they plan to do in the privacy of the voting booth.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

As a kid, I thought this guy was called Ken Tucky.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

Hotel receptionist: And would you like to use our turndown service?

Me: How much is it?

Receptionist: £15.

Me: Ok yes please. And are you free for dinner sometime?

Receptionist: No, I have a boyfriend.

Me, handing over £15: That was great, thanks.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

Around 20% of news stories these days are like “Skit Fuzzy announces now Garbflarkle flib with Gonbobo” and I have no idea what’s going on any more.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

This has been quite spectacular tonight

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@dipurple I’ve got a keg of Ms Dynamite Pale Ale in for Christmas

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@adamhillscomedy Wet Leg (but I can’t feel it cause it’s my prosthetic)

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@YeahManBroLad @anon_opin First one, then the other.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@deathofbuckley @AlabasterMiss Out of context that reads a bit Farage-y

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@jambong Indeed so. Plenty of used spares dealers who do the removal from the car for you. I guess these days people just expect to be able to order online, rather than turning up at a scrapyard and hoping they’ve got a 240 somewhere with a rust-free tailgate.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@jambong Side note: that appears to be an Austin 1100. My dad had one long before I was born.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@jambong If you listen to Mike Brewer the days of ripping bits off cars in scrapyards are long gone. Now I feel old.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@MitchBenn Looking at that, Ryan Reynolds could potentially do the job in a couple of decades.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@10NewsFirst @OscarPiastri @McLarenF1 @F1 Lando ‘played the villain’ by being faster than Piastri before gifting the win to his teammate.

[Mahir 🇹🇷🇬🇧 @ScrewderiaF1]

Yuki: Perez hit the barrier
Engineer: Copy that

Yuki:

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@anon_opin It did not help my swimming career

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@jambong Was that to try to distract her from the mouse? I might have been focussed on the mouse.

[Johnny D Goode @jaydubyadee]

@daraobriain Actually, in 2016 a tweet got 9 more angry corrections than this one.