j o r d y

here, have some love. ⚡️⚡️⚡️

[j o r d y @Jaye_Kay]

@Bill_Nye_Tho @neiltyson Discuss.

[cara @mamapojo]

That feeling you get when there’s one more Starburst in the pile of wrappers

[Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire]

I feel sorry for kids with moms who won’t get in the pool.

[j o r d y @Jaye_Kay]

Be the reason they put limits on pizza buffets. #goals

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

Maybe newborn babies cry because reincarnation is real and they're like "not this shit again"

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Happy June Solstice to all residents of planet Earth: Longest day of the year for north of the equator. Shortest for south of the equator. And for Equatorians, same old boring 12-hour day, just like every other day of the year.

[Sarah Joy @Sarah_Joyous]

Fuck resting in peace, when you could live in it.

[Scott Westerfeld @ScottWesterfeld]

YA NOVEL PROTIP: When your dystopian government commits an atrocity against children, make sure to add a background character tutting, "If only their parents had followed the RULES."

[ABC13 Houston @abc13houston]

Say hello to baby Tilly! @houstonzoo is welcoming a new elephant calf on Father's Day: https://t.co/3KeFWtNG39

[Everyday Mindfulness @MindfulEveryday]

Avoiding difficulty reinforces anxiety.
#mindfulness

[j o r d y @Jaye_Kay]

@thehill It’s almost like they’re a

*whispers*

government agency.

[A Small Fiction @ASmallFiction]

Dog worried when his people left.

They were bad smellers. What if they couldn't smell a way home?

But somehow they did.

Dog was so proud.

[Micro Flash Fiction📖 @MicroFlashFic]

"Where do you see yourself in 20 years?"
"I want to buy an island, raise a kid in a mythology I designed, then bring them to America at 18 and blow their mind."
"That's...ambitious."
"Sorry, I thought we were doing real answers. Is it fake answer day? I want to be just like you."

[j o r d y @Jaye_Kay]

@UTSA Who knew UTMB was such a trendsetter

[Houston Zoo @houstonzoo]

We're thrilled to announce the zoo is free of single-use consumer plastic! Thanks to your help & support we can prevent 80,000 plastic bags, 300,000 plastic bottles, & nearly 23,000 plastic straws from entering landfills & the environment each year. More: https://t.co/h9VBkInBGq

[j o r d y @Jaye_Kay]

@Kappa_Kappa RT this in 12 hours lolol

[Josh @iwearaonesie]

“Wtf it’s been 3 hours”

- me, drunk, waiting for a pizza I never ordered

[j o r d y @Jaye_Kay]

Me: it’s gonna be a great day!

Brain: yah ok

M: *oozes mindfulness and gratitude*

B: *waits*

Me: *drops q-tip into makeup bottle past point of no return*

B: why are you like this

Q-tip: seriously