Jay Jillard

the observations of a smart idiot
he/him

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

James Cameron announces Avatar: Titanic 2: the way of too much water.

you make plans to leave the bunker and meet at the theater at night in the dead of winter, to avoid having the sun melt your skin off.

they are out of popcorn and that ruins your day.

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

the year is 2046:
"Polklore [-(Weird Al's Version) -Taylor's Version]" just dropped and you are drinking sangria during The Last Great American Dictatorship (not the song, just the reality of the USA) as the world continues to burn from emissions & billionaire jets

@alyankovic

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

maybe if it were a Dommarine it wouldn't have buckled under a little pressure.

send tweet

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

Attention passengers, we have a huge norovirus outbreak on this cruise ship, so we hope you enjoy the fine dining and shops that Halifax has to offer while we are docked here!

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

can't wait until my brain get trained to say 'pacific north west' when I see PNW instead of 'praise n' worship'

[Demetri Martin ([email protected]) @DemetriMartin]

Hi. I hope you're having a good long weekend.
(Note: does not apply to my enemies)

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

good son: calling my mother on mother's day
bad son: doing it while rappelling down a cliff and then not responding for 23 minutes afterwards

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

I do so many things for da 'gram but the 'gram never does anything for da me

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

@sarascovs we need to improve infrastructure so that bikers stop being run into by drivers smh

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

the last three Ted lasso episodes I was like 'wow what a great season finale'

and then new episodes keep dropping

[Tokyo Speirs @Tokyospeirs]

Im 90% mid, 10% life crisis.

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

@GarethJInkster probably went to the Florida panthers

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

@sarascovs long

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

give me a Batman movie set in 700ad.

I wanna see him ride a horse and overthrow a corrupt king and his jester

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

@sarascovs more or less yea

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

and then everyone stands there and stares at you waiting for a response to 'how are you' or 'are you okay' or 'why are you shutting me out'

idk dude the back of my neck is hot and I suddenly have to burp a lot, is that useful information to you

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

my negatively driven emotions are never like:
I'm sad
I'm angry
I'm hurt
I'm lonely

It's always:
I feel like throwing up
my ears are ringing
I have a migraine
my visions blurry
I can't breath.

and it's near impossible to figure out what these mean in the moment.

#Autism

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

@ambw93 @pinkshapedbox @cristofernandez yeah. Sam and his dad 😭

[Jay Jillard @JayJillard]

please help, the football show is making me cry again